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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Pain just won't end

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Author Topic: Pain just won't end
Cian
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I suppose I'm in the lucky position of currently being partnered with a girl so this isn't really that pressing a matter, but anyway.

I have masturbated with a vibrator for over two years now, it is a relatively small one, but regardless I'm experiencing pain during entry every time I use it. Even though properly lubricated and aided with artificial lubricants, thoroughly aroused and definitely wanting the penetration, it just hurts, like a stinging sensation, until it seems to just slide in without another notion of pain.
Pulling out hurts equally so.

Fingering causes similar or even worse pain. I can't insert a tampon due to it being painful.

I worry I might have vaginismus, but then, I usually am successful with penetration, it's just the initial flinch of pain. I don't have pain after the insertion, unless the lubrication dries out. However, sometimes I fail to insert because the pain feels just too much to bear.
It was incredibly bad when I tried using a larger vibrator, like it was tearing me up inside. I don't see remains of my hymen blocking the way when I look with a mirror, but could it be I'm just not looking right? Shouldn't it have worn out by now? There was never any blood.

I'm worried that I will never have smooth, pain free insertion. I figured the first few times could be painful, but two years?

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lucidkitty
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Actually a lot of us girls will have an initial flinch of pain. I have been having sex for 12 years almost and the first few seconds of sex still hurt a tad. And also if you don't have sex often of masturbate vaginally often it can be painful every time. But if you are still worried why not discuss this with your gyno?

[ 10-02-2010, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: lucidkitty ]

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Cian
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Oh, so it's just something I'll have to live with, then? Well I suppose that's all good and well, I assumed it wasn't meant to hurt. I also had just hoped I could move up in terms of vibrator size since the small one isn't doing much for me if I'm very aroused, but I fail to insert anything larger. Also worried it might be an issue should things unfold so that I ever partner with a male.

I will consider discussing with a gynecologist, but I'd rather not. My first experience was very painful and I've been terrified of the gyno exams ever since.

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Alice
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The only advice we can give you is to see a gynecologist. I understand your first time wasn't great, but try a different one. Call ahead and screen them first, let them know you've had a bad experience and if they're a good doctor, they'll go slow.

It just shouldn't be hurting like that, it *isn't* normal to have "a flinch of pain" upon insertion. That means either you're not aroused/relaxed enough, or you have an infection or something. Not possible to diagnose over the internet, so you're going to need to see that doctor.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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Cian
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I don't really get to choose my doctors, it's just not something that's provided by the healthcare system here, unless you go to a private provider, which is all too expensive. Either way. Is it possible to have had an infection for years and years without realizing or having any of my doctors pick up on it?
I've had pain with insertion for at least 6 years now.

I'll try to muster the courage and money to see a specialist. [Smile]

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September
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If the pain has been going on for this long, and only happens upon insertion, it's not likely to be an infection. However, not being doctors, we can't rule it out for sure. Especially not over the internet. So, seeing a gynecologist is still a good idea.

Are there any clinics in your area? Do you want us to help you find one? You can send us your ZIP code via the "Contact Us" button.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Cian
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I can access doctors who can then assign me to a gynecologist through school, so that won't be a problem. Thanks for the offer.

Hypothetically, if it isn't a medical issue, I can isolate two occasions where I've noticed something. One time there was insertion without any pain whatsoever, it was sort of an caught-slightly-off-guard moment. Another time, just as it was about to happen, I flinched and jerked my hips back and could feel my muscles clench even though there hadn't been actual pain. There was no insertion that time because my partner must've noticed my reaction. Is it possible I might've taught my body to reject insertion because of the pain or fear of pain? Is there anything I can do to undo it?

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Cian
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I have been to a gynecologist and have tested negative for infections and STDs, my hymen is not there anymore, and my gynecologist was empathetic enough to tell me "a little pain is normal." and dismissed the whole thing.
I'm not sure I stressed the amount of pain enough and I'm still wondering about the psychological aspect, especially seeing as insertion has always been by my own hand in my own comfortable time and space, so being nervous about a partner doesn't really interfere here.

I just really don't want vaginal entry to be painful to the extent I'd rather avoid it or worse yet simply can't have it, especially considering I may (or may not) one day be in a heterosexual relationship and would like to have a family... [Frown]

Posts: 239 | From: Europe | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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