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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Is sex just for guys?

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Author Topic: Is sex just for guys?
Tayler
Neophyte
Member # 48954

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My boyfriend and I started having sex about a year and a half ago. It was the first time for both of us (20 and 22 at the time). We had no idea what we were doing, like most people I'd say. Since then I've always wondered if sex was just for guys? There's only been a couple times I've somewhat enjoyed it. Never orgasm. Yet he finds it very enjoyable.

It still hurts to have sex, but not as bad as it used to. I'm still not sure exactly how things are suppose to go. I'm not sure he is either, but it seems to work for him anyway. Right now I feel like as long as I'm with him I won't have a good sex life. I'm sure that's not the case, but it can be so frustrating.

btw, condoms are always,always used. he makes sure of that : )

Posts: 13 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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No, sex isn't just for guys [Smile] Vaginal intercourse tends to be more pleasurable for male-bodied people than for female-bodied people simply because of how our genital anatomy is, but plenty of women do find it pleasurable. The thing is, to make intercourse pleasurable, there has to be other stuff going on -- before and often during, too.

The reason sex is probably still hurting for you is that you're not completely aroused or relaxed at the time. Seriously, there's no such thing as being TOO aroused for sex, so make sure you're really super-duper aroused; some women even need to orgasm before intercourse feels good for them. You also want to make sure you're using LOTS of lube.

Here are a few articles that might help you out!
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
Yield for Pleasure
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
An Immodest Proposal

[ 09-16-2010, 09:03 PM: Message edited by: Onionpie ]

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Natalie H
Activist
Member # 48229

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Hey Tayler!

I wanna tell you the truth here, ok? The truth is: Sex is NOT just for guys. Girls enjoy sex to! They're supposed to anyway. It's not as if sex is the sacrifice a woman makes for her man.

If you don't enjoy sex, you should really talk to him about this. I can understand that you've been doing it for a while now and talking about it NOW of all times may seem over due, but really, sex is supposed to be enjoyed between both people involved, not one sided pleasure. You need to talk to him about this and find ways that you CAN enjoy sex, because trust me, you CAN enjoy it.

Now you say it still hurts to have sex, even after all this time. Perhaps lubrication is an issue? That doesn't necessarily mean you aren't aroused (although that could be a factor) because a lot of women lubricate differently and sometimes you need the extra help.
And if lubrication ISN'T the issue, have you seen a gynecologist since becoming sexually active? If not, then I suggest you do right away! Pain can be a sign of something very wrong going on down there.

I'm glad that you're using protection. That's a responsible move in your sex life. But another responsible move is communicating with your partner.

--------------------
Bicycle? I prefer a homocycle.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It might also help to take a peek at this: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

And this: What's Sex?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lucidkitty
Activist
Member # 49104

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The frequency you have sex can also add to it not being comfertable or as was said before not being aroused enough. Perhaps taking a bit more time with foreplay would help you in that area? And no dear sex is not just for boys [Smile] .
Posts: 84 | From: baltimore,maryland | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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