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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Staying Hard?

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Author Topic: Staying Hard?
Member # 48040

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I recently started having sex...or trying to. My guy has no problem getting hard, but he gets soft again whenever he tries to stick his penis into my vagina. We're still at the point where we kind of have to feel around to find the vaginal opening, so it takes a little while before he can start inserting.

I don't know if this is relevant, but he's been masturbating for years and is used to orgasming from that, which he says feels really different than intercourse.

We are beginning to get frustrated. Any advice?

Posts: 1 | From: Maryland | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48000

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Keep him excited by doing anything that makes him hard. Communicate with him and ask him what really turns him on.

A little bit of foreplay never hurt anyone [Smile]

Hope everything works out for you two [Smile]

Some people say I have A.D.D., but they just don't underst-- ooh! Look! A chicken!!

Posts: 34 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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Actually.. i suggest rather than making his erection the center of attention, just do other stuff. Like anything, wanting the erection to happen will ensure it wont. Your bf is probably just experiencing some nerves and this is adding to them.

You guys can still sex without having PIV sex too. Oral sex and manual sex are NOT "just foreplay", they're sex. Keeping PIV sex off the table for awhile while you find what each other likes may be a good idea, because partnered sex IS very different from masturbation.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48050

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I had this issue the first time I had sex as well. It was just me being too anxious about it. I would suggest:

-have him not orgasm within a day or 3 beforehand. I find as a guy that this makes the entire experience 10x better anyways.
-you could try using lubricant. Even if he loses some hardness it should still make getting it in much much easier and faster.

Posts: 6 | From: Internet | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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