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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Can't come with girl

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Author Topic: Can't come with girl
paul_lestham13
Neophyte
Member # 47748

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Hey. I'm 17 and just got with a girl. I have became sexually active too. I have had sex twice but there is a slight probelm, I cannot seem to cum and it feel like the job hasn't been finish. I cannot seem to cum the traditional way of mastarturbating too. I think this is due to the unique way I have been masturbating for the past years (laying on belly and putting pressure on the head of the penis) I have stopped doing this and I wonder if it will change anything. I have also heard of stories of the first few times of sex that many men can't cum too. Anyone know what this could be?
Posts: 1 | From: Wales | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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One tricky bit with the word "problem" in regard to sex is that often what people consider problems are just things that didn't go as expected a couple times, or in general.

For sure, a lot of people of all genders don't reach orgasm the first time, few or even longer with intercourse (you're talking about intercourse, yes?). Some people don't ever reach orgasm that way. Just like not everyone finds that oral sex or manual sex will get them to orgasm, same goes with intercourse for plenty of people, sometimes or for some, all the time.

Now, because this is new, this could very well also be about nerves, not feeling able to let go in front of someone or not finding out the way intercourse feels best to you yet. But either way, what we advise people to do, and what most sex therapists will, as well, is just to do what feels good and to experiment to find out what that is for you and partners.

But I would not sweat this because this happened a couple times the first time you tried this kind of sex or have had sex with a partner. Like anything else we just start doing, we rarely start a new activity with everything being as expected and being awesome, and any of us knowing exactly what to do. Instead, we are more likely to learn over time, finding our experiences improve as we go. [Smile]

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
robot_on_fire
Activist
Member # 45735

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why not have intercourse and then finish by doing what you normally do, and she can watch or help : )

She might actually enjoy that

Posts: 92 | From: las vegas | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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