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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Ejaculate to soon

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Author Topic: Ejaculate to soon
quicky09
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hi, im 19
i never really had sex but have ben masturbating for a while...so now i try to have sex with my partner and i tend to ejaculate too soon..like within 10 sec.,...i know its because i have ben masturbating lately..but i was wondering how long do i not masturbate till i can satisfy my gf all tha way.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, you could last an hour and that doesn't mean your girlfriend will feel satisfied. The majority of women not only don't orgasm from intercourse alone, but orgasm also doesn't mean a person feels satisfied with sex. Feeling satisfied tends to be more complex than having a given kind of sex or someone staying erect for a given amount of time.

If your girlfriend isn't feeling satisfied, remember that sex is bigger for everyone than a penis or even just genitals. You both have whole bodies and whole minds to work with here, and it's when both are more engaged and involved that people are most likely to feel satisfied.

As well, men masturbating often doesn't tend to influence reaching orgasm quickly: more times than not, frequent masturbation results in longer times to male-bodies orgasm. So, what's mostly likely the issue here is just that a) you're still pretty young and b) sex is very new to you. Time all by itself and becoming more familiar and comfortable with sex will usually extend this time gradually over time without you doing anything.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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quicky09
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ok i hope ur rite...but hey wen i just began to masturbate, it wud take me much longer to cum...but now its quik...wat u say bout dat?? thank you
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Heather
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You've likely learned more about what works for you in masturbation: that's usually how it goes. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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quicky09
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k i totally didn't get dat...i guess ama jus have to get messed up on some painpills so i wudn't feel shit n last longer dat way hopefuly...good idea dnt u thnk??

[ 05-11-2010, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: quicky09 ]

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robot_on_fire
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no, please dont take pain killers in the hope that it will make you last longer.

I suggest masturbating more often to lean how to control yourself

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May Day
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Hi quicky,

I second Robot_on_fire, don't take pain medication in an attempt to numb your body to withhold orgasm. Seriously, that is a bad idea.

As Heather said, you've probably learned what sensations you like best when you masturbate, so you're orgasming isn't too difficult. I also think it's age and the novelty of sex too and you could keep in my that your sex life with a partner will evolve.

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quicky09
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kkk..i wont then.....i got another question....i got big nipples and chiks tend to touch them alot...u think they turn da chiks on???
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Karybu
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That's something to ask them. We're not them, and everyone is different, so we can't know what they're thinking or what they find arousing.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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LSP
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I am new to sex as well as my boyfriend. The quickest he has cum from us having sex is 3 minutes. He can get himself to cum even quicker if he's just masturbating. He's been working to get himself to last longer, and it's been working. I'd say our longest has been 45 minutes (we don't have too long to have sex, I'm sure he could make it longer if we did). What he has been doing is masturbating, but not letting himself cum. He tries to masturbate longer each time and not cum. The vagina (if this is where you're sticking it!) is a different story, though. It feels much more different and usually more pleasurable than your hand. If you are feeling you're going to cum too son, you need to pull out and chill there for a second. I'm not sure if this will work for everyone, but this keeps my boyfriend from cumming and then he can start again and go for a while before either pulling out again or finally cumming.

[ 06-16-2010, 05:09 PM: Message edited by: LSP ]

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quicky09
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thnk you very much...anyone else got anything to say to help me here
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Heather
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Here are some additional links for you on this:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_come_way_too_soon_and_i_just_cant_deal
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/how_can_i_have_sex_with_him_if_he
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/without_condoms_i_only_last_five_minutes_whats_wrong_with_me

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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quicky09
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what condoms help best to last longer??? thnk u
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quicky09
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???????????????????
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mma
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Quicky09, what specific questions do you have about the articles Heather posted links to? That'll really help better answer your latest question.

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Djuna
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This one's pretty useful, too: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/your_map_to_the_condom_aisle

Although, for what it's worth, intercourse itself, and how long it lasts, is by no means the whole story with sex. Intercourse is just one of the things the two of you can share sexually, if you see what I mean - if that's not satisfying for one or both of you, there are other things you can do, like oral and manual sex or mutual masturbation.

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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