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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Erection problem

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Author Topic: Erection problem
Yesman
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Hey,

recently my and my girlfriend gave eachother oral sex, and when she was givin me oral my erection went down. Mayb it was because her teeth were kind of hurtin me n i might of been nervous cos it was my first time. Anyway, sometimes i struggle to keep an erection, bt wen i'm home alone i can hold it easily. Even wen i was giving her oral sex my erection went away, i had to masturbate a while to get it back.

so my question is why it is happenin ?

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Heather
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Check it out: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/how_can_we_make_sure_he_stays_erect_for_intercourse

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Yesman
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Hey Heather,
thanx a lot for the link. I just want to be certain that this cant be ED at all? And i also wanted to say dat wen we first start making out, i get an erection easily, n it stays, but as soon as we stop this first session then it goes down and its hard to get back up?

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Heather
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ED is something a doctor would talk about when there is an ongoing and consistent pattern of a man being unable to get or maintain an erection, not when it happens once or twice, or now and then, as it will tend to.

As well, at your age, this is not likely to be a physical issue, which is already clear as you don't have issues when NOT with your partner. It sounds most likely this is just about nerves and you needing time to become more comfortable with your partner, perhaps also being sure you're not putting pressure on yourself to get or keep an erection.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Yesman
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Thanx once again for da help [Smile]

atleast now i know it's nt ED. I'm sure now that my first time is over i won't stress because now she has seen my penis so i wont worry what she thinks anymore.

i read somewher on the internet that also masturbating alot and watchin too much porn can cause this problem too. And i'm not going to lie. I do both. Can this really be a problem ?

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Yesman
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Do you think porn can be the problem ?
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Karybu
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Sorry this got overlooked, Yesman.

Porn and masturbation aren't harmful at all unless they're somehow interfering with the rest of your life, but what can happen is that our bodies can get used to being aroused/touched in a certain way, which can make it a bit more difficult to become aroused or stay aroused from other sorts of stimulus. Make sense?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Yesman
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Thanx a lot for readin my post [Smile]

I understand where you are coming from. I think this has happened to me. I duno if I've stated this already, but as soon as me and my girl friend start making I get an erection straight away then lik wen take a kinda break it goes down again, then second time it goes up quickly again. But lik after a while it just cant get up at all. We normally do this for lik 1 to 2 hours and i duno if it's maybe just because it gets tired or whatever ?

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Heather
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Yesman, am I understanding that you have the expectation of keeping an erection consistently for a hour or two?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Yesman
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Not really, I guess it is quite long isn't it ? But isn't foreplay a long process ? But the thing is its only up for mayb 20 minutes of the 2 hours, and it gets harder to get it up. Even if we get to more excitin things near the end ?
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Heather
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Engaging in other kinds of sex before intercourse for a long time doesn't require you have an erection that whole time. In fact, for some people who DO sustain them that long, some find that to be uncomfortable, rather than feeling good.

This is one of those places where you can experiment with your partner to find the kind of back-and-forth with things like manual sex, oral sex, making out, etc. that works best for you both. Sex also doesn't have to 'end" with intercourse. You both can always do those other things by themselves and go with the flow as that feels good. As well, you could have intercourse earlier on if that works for both of you, then have more of those others kinds of sex later. There aren't any rules here, just what the two of you like, want and find feels good, as well as what either of your bodies are capable of doing at a given time.

But an erection coming and going during an hour, two or more of making out or various kinds of sex of any kind is not at all unusual.

[ 05-16-2010, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cthulhu_hungers
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It doesn't matter how long foreplay is "supposed" to be. It matters how long you and her need it to be. If you think she has a problem with foreplay length, tell her. If you have a problem with foreplay length, tell her.

Foreplay only last as long as it takes for both partners to be ready, mentally and physically, for the main sex act, or as long as one or both partners want it to go on.

What counts as foreplay also differs from person to person. Sometimes oral is foreplay, sometimes it is the main sex act.

But if you expect you penis to stay hard for hours, you will be disappointed. The average time an adult man can maintain an erection is about seven minutes. Porn stars use special tricks to stay hard for the course of a 2-hour movie. I can't go into detail about them here, but they can be potentially damaging to your penis and are not very enjoyable for the man at all.

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Yesman
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Taking all your points into consideration: I can see that I have been mislead to believe that an erection can last long.
It's just that me and my girl enjoy long foreplay, but then by the time we ready to move on my penis seems too tired to get up, then it ruins the mood

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