OK, this is something I've been extremely self-conscious about for YEARS. I am a 13 year old female. Since I was (I don't know for sure) 3 or 4, I've been rubbing my privates against the arm of sofas with a pillow between my legs. I recently found out this was masturbating. I always hid it when i was young, because something in me new it was bad. As I've gotten older and more educated about this, I've restrained from it, but I'm still very nervous that I was born wrong. I remember having to go to the doctors when i was little (somewhere between 2 and 6 years of age) and I asked my mom what they were going to do. She said they had to stick something up my bum and it would hurt. A couple of months ago my grandparents came over and I overheard them talking about how wrong some doctor was and how he said they needed to reconstruct her and how they could tell that it hurt her. When I asked what (and who) they were talking about, they just changed the subject. I know that I had a long history of bladder infections when I was young. I'm EXTREMELY worried that I won't be able to have children or that I might have sex too young. Both of these would ruin the life I have planned for myself. I've never told anyone about my concerns until now, and I really hope that no one will be able to find out who I am. I know so little about what's happening, all I want to do is cry whenever I think about it. Please help me.
Posts: 7 | From: Alabama | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged |
Well, for starters, there is nothing wrong with masturbating as long as it feels good and it's what you want to do. You were certainly not "born wrong". I started masturbating early, too, probably about the same time you did. When I was little, it was just a comforting thing that felt good. I didn't attach sexual thoughts to it because I didn't have sexual thoughts. Why are you restraining yourself from masturbation? Do you still want to do it? Is there outside pressure for you to ignore your sexuality?
There's a lot to unpack here, but all I can say per your grandparents and your visits to the doctor is that this has absolutely nothing to do with your interest in masturbation.
I can't tell you whether you'll be able to have children or not, but UTIs don't interfere with fertility (That is a separate system of the body). The urethra (where urine exits the body) is the tract that gets infected when you have a UTI or bladder infection. These kinds of infections are separate from your reproductive organs. This article can explain further: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/anatomy_pink_parts_female_sexual_anatomy
Why do you feel you will have sex too young? You are in charge of your feelings and your body. You are aware of masturbation and capable of taking care of your own sexual needs. I began having sex when I felt ready, and I was strong enough to stand up to pressure trying to convince me contrary because I knew that I could take care of myself sexually.
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.