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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sex doesn't seem to... work?

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Author Topic: Sex doesn't seem to... work?
Member # 45917

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My girlfriend and I are trying to have sex and we're both new to the game. However, physically it just doesn't seem to be happening.

We're attempting to use the missionary position, but it feels almost like the angles aren't working out. I can get inside, but shortly in it feels like my penis is hitting a brick wall: there's no deep entry. It literally feels like I'm hitting a wall with my penis. We've tried pillows under her, lifting her legs way up, have her guide me in, but it almost seems like right at the end of her vaginal canal its really tight and I'm being stopped. She says that she herself can feel that there's lots of room back there but right at the end, it almost feels like it pinches. It's difficult to describe.

We definitely didn't skip the foreplay (which was our first mistake the first go). I just can't get inside! I will note that ONCE I was able to get inside and it worked, and she says she enjoyed (i... did to a degree?) but it still felt quite bizarre (at the end we didn't finish due to circumstance). Furthermore, we can't replicate it! Which may be more frustrating than before.

Are there common mistakes first-timers make that I might be doing? Maybe any tips? I thought the missionary would have been simple and borderline instinctual, but its mostly been awkward limbs and struggling so far. We can't quite get into the swing of it, and it's become very frustrating! Thanks in advance.

Posts: 3 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43526

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I honestly would try a different position. You're forcing a position that obviously just is not going to work for you two, and that will make it even more frustrating. I personally find the missionary position very bizarre and unnatural, at least for my current partner and I. Maybe in the future that will change, maybe not. I usually am on top in what is kind of a modified cowgirl (that name is so degrading). Try a different position, since missionary just isn't working for you.
Posts: 39 | From: Misourri | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39129

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Has fingering worked for you both? Since one or two fingers are smaller and more flexible than a penis, trying that would be a good start to working up to intercourse and determining what angles work best.
Posts: 117 | From: U.S. | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 37835

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Are you using extra lube? Waiting until she's very aroused?

Also, why don't you take a look at these articles:

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
First Intercourse 101
Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry
Yield for Pleasure

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 45917

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I've read some of those articles and I'll definitely give them all a read again, but I'll answer the questions.

Fingering: Yes. I can feel the tightness at the (outer) end of her vagina but I'm thankfully more dexterous with my fingers then my penis.

Lube: Absolutely.

Aroused: Well, I think so. As I said our first mistake was jumping right into it, but we haven't done that again and we've spent plenty of time "fooling around" and such. She insists she is aroused, but it doesn't seem to help.

Also, we tried her on top once but that didn't seem to work either. Hopefully we'll be able to try again rather soon, I'm sure you can imagine this has become rather frustrating? Anyways, I'll get to reading those articles.

[ 05-02-2010, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: DoubleE ]

Posts: 3 | From: Canada | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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