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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Do I need something different?

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Author Topic: Do I need something different?
SpiderGirl91
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ok, I'm gonna try to make this make sense....

I'm very familiar with my own body and what turns me on. When I first started masturbating, I would get very wet leading up to, during, and after orgasm. More recently, I would have to orgasm twice to get the same amount of wetness. Now, after becoming sexually active, I am almost dry after 2 or 3 orgasms through masturbation.

When I'm with my boyfriend, I may get wet before we start having sex...while we're kissing etc.

But nothing else we're doing is making me wet. I enjoy it all, and it USED to make me really wet, but now, I'm almost dry all the time, and the sexual activity isn't really exciting me. I feel bad that my boyfriend is bending over backwards trying to turn me on, and none of his tricks are working. I've been telling him what I like and such, and I still remain dry.

I'm just wondering if this is normal, and also if we should switch tactics. For example...we're pretty BDSM in our sex life. Should we switch to something else, or just use more lube?

Posts: 14 | From: Michigan | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Michelle Ravel
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SpiderGirl, before you get worried about whether you're having sex all wrong--have you been taking any new medication lately? Have you started doing new sports or activities? Have you been drinking less water? All these could be very simple physical reasons why you could be just a little drier generally.

This happened to me a few years ago, and for awhile I was worried until I discovered that the antihistamines I was taking for seasonal allergies were drying me up--not just my vaginal juices, but my nose, eyes, sweat, everything. Which I guess is the point of allergy medication--to help with the drippy nose, right? Well, it prevents other things from being drippy as well.

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SpiderGirl91
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haha, good point. (:

I'll be looking out for diet changes now! I had thought about that as a factor in the back of my head but didn't think it was too serious [Razz]

thanks!

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Here's a page for you that addresses some of the many factors that can be a part of decreased sexual desire: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/wheres_my_sex_drive_driven_off_to

Why don't you take a look at that, then we can talk more if you like, okay?

Can I also ask if by any chance you're using a method of hormonal birth control?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SpiderGirl91
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thanks for the article! I started wondering after reading it if my desire problems were related to the fact that I've been really stressed out lately. I was actually just thinking of starting a post asking about stress management, because I really have no idea how to deal with it and it's tearing me apart. [Frown]

and also, I'm not on any birth control. My boyfriend and I use condoms, and that's it.. [Razz]

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Heather
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Per the dryness: are you also using plenty of extra lubricant with the condoms?

And when you say recently, what are we talking: days, weeks, months, years?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SpiderGirl91
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we haven't tried lube yet. We were supposed to, but forgot to get it and didn't wanna ruin the flow of things...

and the dryness has been going on for about 2 months.

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Heather
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In my experience, grabbing and using lube doesn't ruin the flow. But anyone getting dried out and feeling uncomfortable certainly can.

So, for starters, sounds like you're past-due on getting some lubricant, something people have always used and generally find enhances things, even when folks aren't feeling overly dry. It also helps keep condoms from breaking.

With this only going on two months, I'd not lose sleep over it just yet. Sometimes our bodies are in a space where hormonal changes can play a part in this, or our general health or sexuality is some issue, like not getting enough sleep, being stressed, not having the level of desire for sex in the first place that will impact lubrication.

So, I'd look at the things on that list, consider them, see about making any changes you need to, and by all means, get some lube. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SpiderGirl91
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thanks, Heather [Smile] I appreciate your help!
Posts: 14 | From: Michigan | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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