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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I get wet only after I orgasm.. Why?!

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Author Topic: I get wet only after I orgasm.. Why?!
Jazzer77
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I've never had sex, and I'm pretty inexperienced in all aspects, but I do masterbate fairly often. And it feels good, and everything is normal, except for the fact that I usually don't get wet until right before or right after I orgasm. There's nothing in the "leading up to" moments. This frustrates me and makes me nervous because I have a boyfriend and if we were to have sex soon I don't know what I'd do! I'd be afraid I wouldn't be able to get wet for anything to happen! I'm wondering if maybe it'll be different when I'm actually with a guy, and in the heat of the moment I'd be wet for sure. Maybe I'm not turned on enough when I'm fingering myself? I'm just confused about all of this and wondering if I'm normal.
Posts: 5 | From: Washington | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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quote:
This frustrates me and makes me nervous because I have a boyfriend and if we were to have sex soon I don't know what I'd do! I'd be afraid I wouldn't be able to get wet for anything to happen!
Please be aware that for all of human history that we know of, people have used lubricants for the kinds of sex that require lubrication or when lubrication makes things feel better. And lucky for us, we can get good ones now in a bottle from the drugstore instead of having to use animal fat or blubber. [Smile]

So, if you were with a partner and didn't feel wet enough, or was, but then later wasn't as wet as you like, the world would not even remotely end. You'd just add lube like a lot of people do and always have done. No big whoop.

Why aren't your self-lubricating except with orgasm? Who knows. Some people do just lubricate less than others. It may also be that you're not all that highly aroused yet, or are masturbating without having had a good deal of time spent getting more and more aroused, which isn't very uncommon since we can't make out with ourselves. [Smile]

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill2000Plus
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Women vary in how much vaginal lubrication they produce and under what circumstances, you're certainly not alone in not getting "wet" until just before or after orgasm, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, a lot of women don't produce enough lubrication for comfortable intercourse, so if you're thinking of having sex with your boyfriend I recommend using lube.

First Intercourse 101

Sexual Response and Orgasm: A Users Guide

Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

Lubricant (Not Diamonds) is a Girl's Best Friend

Also check out the articles on safe sex if you want to (I have to rush off right now or I'd put the URLs in myself).

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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robot_on_fire
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if it helps when i masturbate alone i usually only get wet after or just before orgasm .

However having some foreplay or messing around with my boyfriend gets me wet

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Jill2000Plus
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
we can't make out with ourselves. [Smile]

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person on these boards who's ever made out with their own hand [Razz]

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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Love to love
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I just wanted to add my $.02. I never get wet when pleasuring myself unless I've had a clit orgasm. Sometimes I need two before I get wet. Even if I try to touch my nipples it doesn't feel the same as when a guy is doing it. I can't make myself wet unless I'm having an orgasm. So not getting wet till after an orgasm is fine..
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SpiderGirl91
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lol Jill2000...I have definitely done that in middle school [Razz] hahaha

and I have the same wetness issue...I may have a very small amount of wetness when aroused, but not nearly enough to stop friction ((learned that the hard way....owwww))

so yes...lube is definitely your bff in this kinda thing. (:

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Gingerbread
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Another thing you may want to consider, if having sex with your boyfriend and not being wet is your main concern, is that you could engage in some kind of activity (like oral or fingering) beforehand, with lube, to get to an orgasm, and then engage in sex afterwards. Sex doesn't have to be the main act, and you could end up with multiple orgasms. And who doesn't love that? And of course you are normal sugar, you just might have to alter the way you engage in sex in ways you haven't considered before, there's nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you are open with your partner about what feels good to you, and you'll be totally good to go. =]
Posts: 44 | From: United States | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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