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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » he doesnt cum

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Author Topic: he doesnt cum
Member # 43569

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Ive given my boyfriend oral sex a few times now but he hasnt cum, he has told me that hes enjoying himself and that i shouldnt do anything any differently but i still feell like theres more i can do. No other girl that has done it to him has made him cum, so should we just enjoy whats happening and not push it , will this make him more relaxed and it will eventually happen? btw he can cum when hes masturbating
Posts: 19 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, perhaps oral sex just isn't something that, by itself or period, brings your boyfriend to orgasm.

Remember that not everyone will reach orgasm from every sexual activity, or from any given activity all the time. For some folks, certain activities are enjoyable, but just won't get them there. For instance, most women won't reach orgasm through intercourse alone. In the same way, some men won't from oral sex.

So, who knows if it'll happen or not, but if he and you are enjoying yourselves, that's what matters, anyway. Orgasm only lasts a few seconds. Sure, it can feel really great, but the process of getting there tends to last a lot longer, and that whole process feeling good for everyone is what matters most.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 45087

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Yes, there is nothing wrong with him not having an orgasm [Smile] Just to add in some personal experience - I had the same issue with the first male I was sexually active with. He never had an orgasm from anything besides masturbation, until maybe two years after we started experimenting sexually - but that didn't stop either of us from experiencing great pleasure!

I also think it's worthwhile to mention that often focusing on orgasm can detract from the pleasure of sex. If sex is too orgasm-oriented, it may feel too much like a sprint towards a finish line. Perhaps it is more important for partners to focus on each individual moment they spend together, without worrying about whether it will end in an orgasm... that can take the pressure off and make the whole experience more relaxing and enjoyable.

Posts: 9 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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