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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Planning First Time

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Author Topic: Planning First Time
Member # 44992

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Hello, new here, love the site.

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly ten months now and are very much in love, communicative, sexually intimate, all that good stuff, and recently I've decided I really want to have intercourse with him. I feel very safe with him and he's never done anything but show me that he wants me to feel good and healthy and safe and he's never pressured me into anything. Some of my religious reservations were resolved thanks to this site and now I feel emotionally and spiritually ready. So, because of course emotionally and spiritually ready isn't enough, we went about extra extra researching how to be safe as well.

I decided that I really like the idea of an IUD, because I'm in a committed longterm relationship with no end in sight and have no rational reason to fear STDs unless you count cold sores, which we already account for. (We would also be using condoms as our "buddy method.")

I can't reasonably schedule to have an IUD put in until after Christmas, but I go home for the holidays in a week and this is one of the few times I get to see my boyfriend and we are hoping to have enough time alone to have sex. My boyfriend really wants to be sure we are incredibly safe, so he thought that in the absence of the IUD, I could get Plan B as a backup to the condom.

I've read that women can get nausea and possibly bleeding from Plan B, and it costs up to $50 dollars, so since condoms are more effective percentagewise anyway I'd rather not bother with Plan B, unless of course the condom breaks.

If we do everything right when using the condom (lube inside and out, right size, putting it on immediately and keeping it on, taking it out afterward properly, etc) then would it still be a recommendable idea to take Plab B as a backup? Or if it's not, but the condom fails (breaks/tears) will it be obvious once it is taken out?

Posts: 8 | From: europe | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 44994

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Personally, if all goes well with the condom, I do not see the need for the Plan B. As long as the condom does not slip off/break, and is taken off/disposed of properly, there is no chance of semen getting inside you.
Posts: 10 | From: new york | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36501

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Plan B is designed for emergency use, not as a backup method the same way the pill or an iud is. When a condom breaks, you know. IF your condom breaks, you will notice, and then, yes, you can take Plan B. But it sounds like you're good and prepared condom-wise, so relax! You should be fine.
Posts: 61 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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[Actually, strumpet, having Plan B around to use if the condom breaks *is* a good back-up method that we support at Scarleteen. In fact, I have emergency contraception right in my Safer Sex Kit to use in face a condom should break; fortunately, I haven't had to use it yet! [Smile] However, I think you mean it differently than it first comes across to me, and you and diex are right in that it is not something to be taken regularly but rather *just* in case you believe you had a risk (like forgot to use a condom or had a condom break.) If you want that extra peace of mind, bottleglassblue, I'd look into another method for now.]

bottleglassblue, I would definitely recommend both you and your boyfriend getting tested before chucking the barriers. I think that it's good to look into long-term back-up birth control and support your decision to use E as a back-up to condoms right now. I'd buy a dose to have on hand just in case.

I know some people who are big fans of the IUD and I hope to get one soon myself, although I know it can be hard to find a doctor who will prescribe one to a young woman who has not had children yet. (My fingers are crossed for a January appointment with a new GYN.) My partner and I have been tested for STIs and remained monogamous for many months now, so I also use a diaphragm (although generally not condoms, too.) In any case, I think it's very good for you to be prepared and explore BC option beyond just the Pill. Have you seen our various articles on BC yet? [Smile]

[ 12-13-2009, 10:32 PM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

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Member # 44992

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Yes, I've been poring over the site for the past month and a half or more! I have a really terrible memory and I'd be hiding this from my parents, who educated me about sex but are adamantly abstinence-only in my case, so the pill or anything I'd have to remember often or deal with around the house is really not what I was looking for. One of the five-year IUD's sounded absolutely perfect, and I can afford it right now. I haven't made an attempt to get one yet--but the Planned Parenthood in my college area offers them. Am I unlikely to be able to get one from them?

And even after I get the IUD, we do plan on using condoms anyway just in case. I am also planning on getting tested when I can, after Christmas when I can get a bus to the PP here, and my boyfriend is looking into getting tested on his campus. (I go to a Christian college; they don't offer sexual health checkups prominently for obvious reasons.)

I'm not demanding that we absolutely must get tested before the first time because I trust what he's said about his sexual history (which is only one much younger virgin girlfriend who he fingered briefly during their short-lived relationship) and I know how reverentially he treats sex. I don't think anyone who's been so consistently adamant about my safety and well-being, not to mention someone so shy who's worshipped the ground I walk on for long before we were together, could possibly be hiding some one-night stand wherein he contracted HPV or something hidden of that sort. But of course still using condom and getting us tested as soon as possible just to be responsible.

Posts: 8 | From: europe | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 37835

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All of my young friends who have gotten IUDs all got them from planned parenthood, and my guess is that they will have someone who will put one in. It depends on the particular PP, but I know of at least 5 in four different states that seem to be willing to give them to young women. You can always call ahead and ask if they are generally open to inserting IUDs in young, child-free women like yourself.

Also, do keep in mind that there is no test for HPV in men, so STI testing for him won't be able to detect it.

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 44992

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Thanks for the info about Plan B and IUDs. I'm very glad for this site; it's cleared up a lot of things for me.
Posts: 8 | From: europe | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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