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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I took a break from sex now he won't fit

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Author Topic: I took a break from sex now he won't fit
Member # 44716

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Long story short I took a 'break' from sex. I had made the rule for myself that I was not going to be intimate with anyone until I was in committed relationship. Over a year after I put the rule into practice I am now head over heals in love with an old friend from high school who recently moved back into the area. Everything is going incredible well and I can't remember a time in my 23 years where I have ever been this happy.
That being said, there is one issue, I feel like I am a virgin all over again. Like when he enters me at first I feel like I am being split in two. Lubrication isn't the issue. He is pretty large but again, this has never been a problem for me. And it's not that he's hitting my cervix or anything its pretty much just at the opening of my vagina that is sore. After sex this morning I went to the bathroom and I had bled a very minimal amount but bleeding none the less. There was like a few pin size drops of blood. I told him that he has to be gentle and go slow and he has but I am getting frustrated because I want to have sex but its almost too painful to go thru with. Once we get into it, it's fine...maybe once or twice during sex I'll have a pang, but other then that it feels good.
Now just sitting here writing this I feel sore 'down there'. As much as I don't want to admit it I pretty sure I should give it a couple days before we have sex again just so I can heal up a little. What should I do when I am ready to have sex again. He's amazing at foreplay and almost prefers that to intercourse so I get plenty of that, again lube isn't a problem either. We've tried all different positions and me on top is the most painful for me. I guess what I want to know is 1. Is it possible for me to 'shrink' after abstaning from sex for over a year. and 2. Will I be able to have sex with him without it causing pain, I'm totally okay if it requires just more practice and just getting use to him.

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.

Posts: 1 | From: In the clouds | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 37835

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No, you haven't "shrunk" or anything like that.

It's almost definitely due to not being relaxed or aroused enough.

Check out this article for more information: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38698

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I agree with atm1 that you are probably not relaxed enough. However, I'm curious as to why you are so sure that lube isn't the problem. I thought for a long time that I was using enough lube and something else was wrong, but by the time I was having sex without pain I was using way more lube than before. So it can't hurt to try more--the first goal is to eliminate the pain, and after that you can work back to less lube if you want more friction, etc.
Good luck! [Smile]

Posts: 96 | From: West Coast USA | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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