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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » So I Just Lost My Virginity...is what happened normal?

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Author Topic: So I Just Lost My Virginity...is what happened normal?
lilsunshine
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Technically I lost my virginity last week...because I wanted to see what it would feel like and he fingered me, made me bleed and then after some time penetrated me for a few seconds. It hurt too much so I asked him to stop.

The bleeding barely lasted. I know the hymen is different for all girls, but most of the thin blood was on his fingers and when I went to the toilet, I wiped twice and the blood was practically gone.

Then today, I wanted to try again. It hurt a lot until I relaxed and then it didn't hurt. Except, when he pushed ALL the way in, it felt like it affected my bottom...it wouldn't have felt too bad if it weren't for this uncomfortable feeling near my behind. What WAS that?

And it didn't hurt...but it didn't feel that great and he's never made me scream...he never made me scream...(lol, Lily Allen song). I'm hoping this will get better? He had a good time...lol, I however, realised how ovverated the whole process is. It's really not that much of a big deal! At least, not yet...technically it was only my first time...

So yeah, long story short, what was that feeling when he fully penetrated me that seemed to push my behind and make it feel awful? This sounds gross but it almost made me feel like I needed to defecate because it pushed up so high...I guess that's the best way to explain it.

Thanks in advance!!

Posts: 23 | From: Australia | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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Hey lilsunshine!

Why don't you take a look at these articles and see if they help you out at all:
First Intercourse 101
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum

If you still have any questions, you're more than welcome to come back and ask! [Smile]

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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lilsunshine
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Heya, thanks for that, the articles were really helpful!

Unfortunately, it didn't explain what the feeling was. Occasionally when he pushed all the way up, I just felt like...(hmm I'm starting to forget what it felt like lol)...like it pushed against my bowels or some other sort of organ near there. It didn't hurt, it just felt a tad awkward. But again, it was technically my first time so my body might just still be adjusting as it's never had anything up that far?

It's an odd and poor explaination, sorry, but I am curious! Just wondering if it was "normal"...?

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Heather
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One can feel pressure either on the bladder, bowels or the muscles which surround all the organs in your pelvis during vaginal intercourse. That's more likely to feel that way -- or uncomfortably that way -- though, when either someone is going deeper than feels good to you at a time, and/or when you're not fully aroused.

Bear in mind that a partner pushing himself inside your body all the way just may not feel good to you: it doesn't for plenty of women, always or sometimes. So, this is one area where you communicate to a partner during sex so they know not to press in so much or so deeply.

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Louiise
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YESS! thats what i thought, its WAYYY over-rated! its a total disappointment to the girl cos you kinda go numb. Apparently it gets better as you get older, as long as your okay doing it, you can feel good that your pleasing your other half. i have only done it four times and now the whole thing just seems casual, i got dumped a week ago for a girl he knew i didn't like so i moved on quick, and a guy wanted to have sex with me at a party the other night, and i was actually disappointed that i couldn't cos i was on my period (it wasn't a random guy, i knew him, and have hung out with him before)

but basically, just relax and in time it gets better even if your not enjoying it - so long as it doesn't hurt too bad- just stay relaxed and its fineee. xxxx

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LondonBlue
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Louiise,

Sex should not only be good for women because they're "pleasing the other half." The first few times you have sex, you might not get the mechanics perfect so it may not be totally smooth, but once you get the hang of it, it can feel good for you. If it doesn't--and for some women it doesn't, which is fine--you should communicate with your partners and find other ways to enjoy sexual activity, through oral or manual stimulation (or lots of other things!). I understand really wanting to please a partner, but don't feel that it's just a woman's lot in life to be stuck giving mediocre sex to her partners in order to please them. To say that "even if you're not enjoying it" sex is okay "so long as it doesn't hurt too bad" communicates the idea that women are less important in a sexual setting than men, and that a male partner's pleasure should come before a female's (and remember that there are all kinds of combinations of lovers that don't fit that norm anyway). Although that may be a stereotype common in our society, it's sexist and does not reflect a healthy sexual lifestyle for either partner.

Check out these articles, which say it a lot better than I can, lol:
Yield for Pleasure
Is THAT All There Is?
Reciprocity, Reloaded
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking about Sex with a Partner

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music2myears612
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you dont really scream though I mean women dont orgasm usually from just intercourse alone and yes some women I suppose could scream but that doesn't happen all the time ya know. Sometimes if someones screaming that means they could be faking it but then maybe not.
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music2myears612
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and I think I mean sex can differ from person to person if you really love/care about the person in my opinion I think the sex is going to be a lot better and if the guy knows what their doing and you feel comfortable and relaxed with them it can be a lot better as well. And I dont think you have to have an orgasm either for it to be good. Just my opinion.
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EliotDorian
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That's happened to me a few times, where I've had to cut sex short because as soon as his penis enters, I feel like taking a dump. Those times I had either already needed to go and was holding it in and intending to go home and go and not anticipating that the guy would consent to sex with me, or I was constipated. Either way, not sexy. But your vagina's right in front of your anus, and by extension, your colon, is it not? I've felt the need to poo when I'm at the gynaec's office too, as soon as the duck lips enter. Same deal, I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.

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runaway
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I believe feeling pressure on your colons is normal. Is definitely happened to me before, it made me feel like I was going to "have an accident", lol. Just remember that that's not going to happen and relax. The feeling is awful, per se, just uncomfortable because you're unsure about what's happening.

I totally disagree with you, Louiise! Sex isn't bad or good just because you're a certain age. Sex is good based on your readiness level and level of comfort. I've never had "bad" sex, because I didn't even lose my virginity until I was 100% comfortable with who I was with. It really helped be become more comfortable with my body as a whole.

Posts: 19 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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