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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Problem...

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Author Topic: Problem...
Member # 31269

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Woah! Its been a real long time since i have been on this forum. I forgot my username and password [Frown] but luckily i had a file on my pc with all my usernames etc. Anyways im back!

For once life is amazing. I have the most amazing girlfriend you could dream for. She is absolutley perfect - to me anyway. Many people think its weird that we dont know exactly when we started going together, but we have no problems with that - in fact to us it keeps things fresh. I love her more than anything! Anyways to my problem...

Our relationship reached a new level a couple of months ago - progressing from touching etc to manual sex then onto oral sex. We both enjoy it a lot - however maybe a few weeks ago we both discussed sex.

Looking back it was quite comical, we were in the middle of manual sex etc, when she asked if we should attempt sex. I agreed and reached over the condoms i had bought a month before. They were 2 years out of date :|. This was a bit of a mood killer however after a while we both just laughed it off. A couple of weeks later the same situation occured - only i was more prepared. However disaster struck again. I could not seem to get it in [Frown] we both laughed but after several more attempts we both got a little frustrated - me especially. We left it at that and still managed to have a good night, yet i was some what disheartened. It affected me for a few weeks as i pondered whether there was something wrong with me. I got pretty paranoid thinking that i was the problem. I began to think that i couldnt "get it up" properly because i couldnt seem to get it in. It was pretty frustrating and began to affect my mood.

Soon after i was at her house - i had no problem getting an erection, so i realised that maybe i was over reacting (this time no talk of sex - no condoms). This happened several times which helped me grow back in confidence.

Yesterday she was at mine. I think you can guess what happened. The exact same thing as before. I couldnt get it in. Yet this time i wasnt as frustrated and we decided to talk about it. I admitted that before it had annoyed me but this time it hadnt. She explained how she was not bothered by the whole incident at all. This made me feel a whole lot better. We both agreed that sex is not the most important thing to us, and that we are happy the way things are.

Although the situation was resolved, i still would like some advice on the whole topic. It was frustrating and affected my confidence and i wanna make sure it doesnt happen again. I was thinking about how we could try different position - maybe that would make it easier? Anyways yeah any advice on the matter would be great! Sorry this post was so long, but i had to get this off my chest. Thankkkks [Big Grin]

Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 44126

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Is SHE fully aroused when you attempt sex? If she's not, she could be too tight to try getting it in. Or are you partially soft? If so, that's probably just nerves and you should have nothing to physically worry about and you just need to relax. Or do you have a significantly large penis? It could just be a trying to fit a big thing into a small thing problem, but you'd have to have a monster penis for that to be the likely culprit (or she has a really small vagina). Make sure you have lots of foreplay and lots of lube on hand. First times are especially hard.
Posts: 27 | From: Oregon | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31269

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I dont think its that i have a large peis - before i was told by other girls that i did - but in all honesty i dont think i do. Therefore that may not be the problem but thinking back maybe the whole issue with her being too tight might be the problem. So now i kinda have an idea of what went wrong and i know what i gotta do next time. I guess its just all trial and error [Smile]

Thanks a lot for your help! Any other advice would be reeaaall helpful too [Smile]

Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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In all honestly, your penis size wouldn't be a likely issue regardless, because the vagina is very elastic when a woman is aroused. There also is no such thing as a "really small vagina." Vaginas just don't ultimately come in static sizes. So, I'd actually dismiss some of what Smellycheesebot posted there.

Why don't you start by looking at these links, and then we can come back and talk more when you've got more information to work with:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse
Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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