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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » whats the norm with erections?

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Author Topic: whats the norm with erections?
Confused_Male
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Member # 44112

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ok so i am an 18 year old male who up until recently had absolutely no sexual experience past making out with a girl. My perception of what is normal when it comes to sex was almost entirely influenced by popular media, due to the fact that my overly christian high school was useless in terms of sex ed. so basically going into my first sexual experience i completely believed that as soon as a i saw a naked girl i would have an erection, unfortunately this was not the case for me which caused me a lot of worrying. over the course of my relationship with my girl friend i seemed to suffer from a loss of erection when it came to condoms and similar problems. naturaly the state of my erection played heavily on my mind and eventually it all led to the end to my relationship with my girl friend. after the break up i put more thought into what was happening and tried to figure out what really is the 'norm' when it comes to erections. when i am intimate with a girl i seem to get erections in waves, that is to say i will get an erection and then after awhile i will gradually lose it only to get it again later. this seems to be consistent for me when i am not being stimulated but it always feels wrong to me, i feel like i should simply get and maintain an erection from simply being intimate with a girl. so my question is it normal for my erections to come in waves like they seem to and is it also normal to need to get stimulated to get an erection? i always worry when im with a girl and im at a point where i dont have an erection, should i simply stop worrying and let them stimulate me (touch, rub my penis) until i get an erection? so yeah, im just not sure whats normal and what should be happening to me, when i masturbate im often flaccid and simply stimulate my self until i gain an erection, something i have no problem doing physically or mentally. but when it comes to being with a girl i just feel like its wrong that i should need to do that. so whats normal?
Posts: 1 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Smellycheesebot
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Member # 44126

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Well, first of all, that is perfectly normal and you probably have nothing to worry about (if you just absolutely cannot get an erection ever, even when you're by yourself, then you might want to see a doctor).

I assume that you're nervous and that the more often you don't get an erection around a girl, the more nervous you get. But nerves can be an erection killer. This doesn't mean you're gay, or that you don't want to sleep with women, or whatever, it just means you're scared. Try touching yourself, or have her touch you, and most of all RELAX! Don't worry about it. If the girl loves you, she'll stay with you even if you can't get it up once in a while (or the first few times). Neither men nor women can really have sex if they aren't relaxed enough (girls can be too tight, guys go limp when nervous).

Once you calm down, getting it up should be as easy as ever. Just don't worry about it.

Posts: 27 | From: Oregon | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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