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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Testing?

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Author Topic: Testing?
Member # 43486

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Neither my boyfriend or I have had any form of sexual contact with anyone else, ever. I know he's kissed another girl before, but that's all. I am perfectly confident he wouldn't lie to me, so that's not a concern.

We aren't planning on having intercourse anytime soon; the subject hasn't really come up. I'd say we're very comfortable where we are. However, should we decide to, I was wondering if we'd need to be tested first just to be on the safe side? Also, if we were to begin having oral sex, fingering, etc (not that there's any rush or pressure at all, but I wanted to make sure I had all the facts before we even considered it) would condoms or dental dams be necessary if we hadn't been tested?

Thanks in advance!

Posts: 52 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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What I'd say is that ideally, if you want to start those activities without using latex barriers, your best bet would be for both of you to start with a full STI screening first.

For sure, if both of your sexual history is what you (and he) say, it's highly unlikely either of you have any STIs. However, once you start being sexually active you'll need to start getting tested yearly anyhow, so why not do it right from the start?

Alternately, you could skip testing for now, but stick with latex barriers until you both do get tested.

So, those are the ideals. Knowing them, you both also get to make your own choices about what level of risk you feel comfortable with.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43486

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Thanks very much for your helpful response! I want to try and handle everything as responsibly as possible, so I'm glad I have Scarleteen as a resource for reliable information. I asked a friend (who is in a monogamous relationship and sexually active) and she said I shouldn't bother getting an STI screening, but I wanted to get a second opinion. I think I'll trust you here.

I'm not entirely sure how or when to bring it up...Not that I'm worried about his reaction. I'm positive he wouldn't get uncomfortable or refuse. I just don't have the words. This is all very new and different for me, and i'm still in a period of adjusting. I like slow, gradual change, and thus far he's been great with regards to checking in with me to make sure I'm OK with everything.

I don't want to ask him about it too early, since we're not at the unclothing-and-exploring point. I feel like bringing it up now would sort of...'put it on the table' isn't the phrase I want, but, I don't know, make it uncomfortable? Even if it didn't make him uncomfortable, I think it'd make me feel awkward. So while I don't want to bring it up too early, I don't want to procrastinate for an illusion of comfort until we ARE in a position where we feel comfortable beginning those activities, only to stop and say, "Wait, we need to be screened!"

So that's where I stand. Kind of reassured and confused at the same time.

Posts: 52 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Maybe this article will help you find the right words:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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