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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Need Advice! Question about oral sex!

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Author Topic: Need Advice! Question about oral sex!
Member # 42088

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This guy and I have had crazy chemistry and have liked eachother for about 2 years now but we've never done anything until last week. The issue is he has a girlfriend and has had one the whole time. So things have been extremely difficult for me and him. My parents went away so he came over and spent the night. I was resistant to do anything because of the situation, but I eventually gave in and we started messing around. Now I didn't find him giving me oral sex enjoyable, could it be that I was scared or nervous that I was overthinking the situation and not letting myself just relax because I've been waiting for this for so long? I am sexually attracted to him so I don't understand why I didn't exactly like it? It also was the first time I messed around so could that be it too? Now I'm having mixed feelings. He was quite aggressive. So could that have been it or is it just me?
Posts: 1 | From: missouri | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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You know, I'm finding myself bypassing a lot of your post because what is going on here is wrong on so many levels.

This guy is taken. He has a girlfriend, and it does not appear that she knows or would approve of this. Having sexual relations with someone who is already taken is not okay, in any way, and I would highly suggest stopping now before either of you get into trouble.

That aside, it's entirely possible that you didn't enjoy the sexual aspects of that night because you were nervous, felt guilty, felt anxious, or maybe you just don't care for oral sex. It could be any or all of the above. If this is first time you've been with anyone, that could be it too.

[ 02-02-2009, 09:00 PM: Message edited by: JamsessionVT ]

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jase Watson
Member # 39090

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First flag: He has a grilfriend!

Perhaps you don't find it wrong, but put it this way. If you were really into a guy, and he was cheating on you and messing around with another girl behind your back, you wouldn't be happy would you? I would recommend that you sit down and talk with him about how he feels, and he needs to decide weather he likes you more or the other girl.

- Jase Watson

Posts: 58 | From: San Diego, CA | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(Just a reminder that it's not always an either/or for everyone. Sometimes, people don't like this person more or that one. Now, given he didn't try communicating about any of this with you in advance of sexual activity, I'm guessing this isn't the relationship for this, but for future reference, everyone openly discussing or negotiating a more open relationship which can include other partners is also an option.)

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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