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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » It hurts, but it's supposed to feel good...

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Author Topic: It hurts, but it's supposed to feel good...
getforkedup
Neophyte
Member # 42083

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My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and have just recently decided to move pass the kissing/touching stage. Last night, we were in my room and he started to finger me, and it hurt. Not just a little bit, but it hurt to the point where I had to make him stop because I was about to cry. I've asked a few people about this and no one can give me an answer. He doesn't have long fingernails or anything, so what could it be? I'm a virgin, by the way, if that might have something to do with it. Does anybody know why it hurts so much?
Posts: 1 | From: BFE, Indiana | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, if he was inserting his fingers inside your vagina...

Did he only do so once you were very aroused and AFTER non-entry sexual activities that got you more aroused, like by rubbing your clitoral shaft and hood for a while, after oral sex for you, after something else like that?

Was he being very gradual, only entering a little bit at a time as felt good to you?

Was he using a lubricant?

You might also find looking at these helps you out:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse (That stuff is applicable for fingers going into a vagina, too)
Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry

I should also note that a lot of hetero guys don't realize that "fingering" that women enjoy often is not about, or is not only about, putting fingers INTO the vagina, but about using fingers to stimulate the WHOLE vulva. Plenty also don't realize that for most women, the vagina isn't really the big place of sexual pleasure on the genitals, but the clitoris is.

You can help with this if those things are an issue, by showing him -- with your own hands, based on what you know from your own masturbation -- or telling him what DOES feel good.

[ 02-01-2009, 07:33 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SnailShells
Activist
Member # 35485

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Most likely you weren't terribly aroused, and he was being too rough.

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/why_is_manual_sex_painful

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/whats_causing_that_pain_when_hes_fingering_me


These are a good start [Smile]


(edit: too slow!)

[ 02-01-2009, 07:34 PM: Message edited by: SnailShells ]

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I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. --John Waters

Posts: 206 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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