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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » opinions on oral sex

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Author Topic: opinions on oral sex
amychaos
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Hi,
My boyfriend has joked about saying he wanted me to swallow after oral sex but every time i offer to he says no.

i was just wondering what peoples opinions on swallowing/spitting after oral sex?

Apologies if i'm being to vulgar/graphic.

Posts: 116 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
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Just a reminder that here at Scarleteen we recommend using safer sex practices like condoms, dental dams, and gloves during sexual activity (including oral sex, manual sex, and vaginal and anal intercourse) until all partners have received two full and clear STI tests (taken six months apart), and have maintained perfect barrier use and monogamy during those six months. We also recommend that partners negotiate things like ejaculating in a partner's mouth or swallowing semen beforehand.

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amychaos
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yeah we're both STI free [Smile] and we've talked about it beforehand.
i was just curious on other peoples opinions/experiences [Smile]

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orca
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Good. [Smile] I just wanted to make sure that other users keep those things in mind when posting on the topic as well. [Smile]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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chloe489
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I have yet to try swallowing a guys cum. I guess im kinda worried it will make me throw up, and thats a mood ruiner and embarrassing! But, I am willing to try it and have been asked by EVERY guy I have been sexually active with to swallow.

Question to any guys out there: Why is a woman swallowing "cum" such a desired thing for you guys?

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LondonBlue
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I can understand at least in part why guys would want girls to swallow--if your girlfriend has to run out of the room and clean out her mouth after oral sex, that might make you feel a little self-conscious, lol. But if you can do it discreetly and without hurting his feelings ("Eeew," etc), I'm not saying there's an inherent problem with spitting.

I used to swallow with my boyfriend, but after a while I started really dreading it because he usually cums a very large volume, and I can't deepthroat so I definitely fully experience the taste/texture which wasn't wonderful (I've heard you can improve it with certain foods, but I doubt it would get radically better). We fixed it by trying flavored condoms and lubes (it's hard to perform oral sex using a condom if you don't have lube, we found out). He says it doesn't feel that different, and I can enjoy it and not worry about when he's going to cum.

To the poster above me: I doubt it will make you throw up, unless the angle hits your gag reflex or something. [Smile] It's not THAT bad, and some people like it, I know (it also depends on the guy). But I wouldn't expect it to taste like ice cream...and if you don't have those kinds of unrealistic expectations, I think you'll be fine. You should talk to your guy about it, and if you're uncomfortable with it, you can just tell him no! [Smile]

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redrabbit
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Why is a woman swallowing "cum" such a desired thing?

- Watch a little pornography and a guy will get the idea that cumming should be done all over the woman's hair, face, breasts, and only rarely in her mouth.. must be something else.

- I like the idea of cumming in the mouth as its a little closer to mimicking vaginal sex with intent for reproduction, which is somewhat erotic for me. I also like it as the alternative is really annoying. I just kind of hate having a girl rush off to the bathroom, its not good for the mood. I'm sure other guys would have additional responses...

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Gravity
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I actually enjoy giving oral sex but I have never swallowed. I too am worried that I will get super grossed out and throw up or something. As for a guy telling you to swallow then changing his mind maybe he is worried that you don't really want to do it. So if you really want to swallow then reassure him that you want to.
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Rina
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It seems I'm the odd one? I ALWAYS swallow if I'm giving him a bj, and sometimes after sex. lol I have never spit in my life. lol

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cool87
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That doesn't make you odd or abnormal at all, Rina.

We all just have different preferences when it comes to sex so while some people might not like to engage in that kind of practice, others might and both choices are just as fine. They isn't one being more normal than the other. What matters most is you being comfortable with whatever you choose to engage in. [Smile]

[ 01-17-2009, 08:18 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Rina
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lol I think I was going to put in an "lol" after my question. I understand that, but in this discussion I was/am the only one with that has that preference. lol

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Idir
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Now I'm not sure whether letting someone cum in your mouth is actually safe or not. I have to admit that I'm a teeny lil' bit ignorant about this, but isn't it pretty much the same risk with or without swallowing?
I think if both partners haven't been tested yet, it's pretty wise to pull out before ejaculating. Or using condoms [Smile]

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Rina
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Idir, the risk for STDs is the same with or without swallowing. And pulling out will still have that risk.

The only sure way to prevent STDs if both partners haven't been tested is to use condoms.

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PenguinBoy
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Indeed Rina!

The thing that wierds me out about oral sex is the idea that one person "gives" it to the other... i get that one person might enjoy it more than their partner, but I didn't like idea that with fellatio all preferences were defined by the guy and then their partner had to decide whether or not they'll rise to that challenge.

As if it was some kind of test - I didn't want to treat someone I was attracted to and really liked in that way, put them under that pressure.

Through a bit more experience, however, the real situations where I've engaged in oral sex - from one side or the other, have been different to that. With partners wanting to perform oral sex out of pleasure, and finding something we both enjoy.

I sort of felt as though "How far will you go to give me pleasure" wasn't really what was going on, it was more like "What are both of our preferences, and what will work best" - which made me feel a hell of a lot more comfortable. My experiences may have something to do with some of the partners I chose too, who were people who also felt more comfortable thinking that way.

quote:
Originally posted by redrabbit:

- I like the idea of cumming in the mouth as its a little closer to mimicking vaginal sex with intent for reproduction, which is somewhat erotic for me. I also like it as the alternative is really annoying. I just kind of hate having a girl rush off to the bathroom, its not good for the mood. I'm sure other guys would have additional responses...

Hi redrabit! I'm wondering if you're sure there isn't anything else at play here?

When it comes to sex there is a lot of physical pleasure involved, psychological issues can affect things but surely it takes a lot shorter time to think "mmm this feels good" than it does, "I like this because it mimics an act which has the potential to cause impregnation which i also enjoy for physical reasons"... When I hear that it sounds to me like a theory, not an immediate thought process.

When it comes to "ruining the mood" - how much of that do you think is a kind of superstition? How do we decide what creates the mood and what doesn't?

I personally don't think the mood is neutral or set in stone. Feeling like the mood is good, for me too, can often be about feeling secure and not being put off by something unexpected or outside of our image our image of what we think is going to happen or our opinions of what's good. Pauses can happen in sex for various reasons and sometimes are used FOR pleasure! And I think reconsidering what's expectable and allow things INTO our image of perfect sex which include more variation will make the mood feel better.


When it comes to safe sex, I think even the idea that the question asked is "spit or swallow?" is scary because where's option 3? "wear a condom, or spit or swallow?".

If it's "Swallow or not swallow (ie if using protection!)" then I have a big problem with it. I don't see pleasure as a shift-able quantity that can just be transfered, for someone to sacrifice their safety does not translate to pleasure for their partner unless they CHOOSE to interpret it like that.

[ 01-23-2009, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: PenguinBoy ]

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Rina
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Jacob, I agree with everything you said. However, in my opinion "spit or swallow" is for monogamous *STD tested* relationships whereas condoms are for singles. lol If that makes sense.

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StrangePudding
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Haha, Rina, I'm the same - I've never spit. It's just not something I've ever really thought about doing, I guess because our activities usually take place in an area where it would be pretty difficult to run to the bathroom with a mouth full of semen. Plus, the taste is not that great (to me), so I'd rather just swallow than have it sitting in my mouth for a while. The problem with condoms (for me) is that latexy taste - not a turn on. I know there's flavored condoms, lubes, etc, but we haven't yet made a trip to anywhere that sells them. I'm not worried about STIs because my partner and I had no previous sexual partners, so using a condom honestly just feels like kind of a waste of condoms - I'd rather save them for intercourse.
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