posted
Too often, we see people posting here repeatedly worried about pregnancy risks WHILE correctly using a reliable method of birth control like condoms or the Pill, or even two methods together!
So, here's an opportunity for us to talk about why. What about your chosen method seems iffy, or makes you worry? If you're not using condoms (in a tested and monogamous relationship!), is it the lack of a visible "barrier" that confirms protection that freaks you out? Is the failure rate for your method too high? If you're using a hormonal method like the Pill, what about the way it works makes you feel unsure?
This is a zero judgment zone; I'd just like to see what can be done to help everyone feel safer with sexual activity, and see if we can do something better to educate on available contraceptives. Thanks! :)
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Me and my partner use condoms... and nothing else.
I guess I just had a lot of dilemmas over it because I'd say that about 90% of my friends at least are on birth control for various reasons (I'm beginning to think it's a little overprescribed!) from heavy periods to acne...
That's mainly what makes me so insecure about it... just that I have no real need to go on it (my periods are medium and pretty regular) and feel uncomfortable messing around with my periods just so I can have sex.
My boyfriend on the other hand loves condoms because he says it makes him feel more secure to be able to see the contraception rather than having to rely on me taking the pills at the right times and my body not messing with it.
Posts: 92 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2008
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posted
My boyfriend and I use condoms and I'm on the pill. I'm never really nervous about the condom use.. I guess seeing that that's nothing leaking out does the trick. I've stretched those babies over my hand when I was curious, and they're ridiculously hard to break, so I'm not to worried given that we are also using extra lube with them.
With my pill, however, it's hard for me to trust it completely because even though I know HOW it works, there's no evidence to me that it IS working. Like, it's not like with my asthma medication; I know that that's working because I can breathe. With my pill, I won't know if it's working or not unless I get pregnant.
One thing I've found on the pill, is I get QUITE worrisome because my withdrawl bleeds are ridiculously light. It kind of freaks me out, because periods have always been the thing that reassures me that I'm protected enough that I'm not getting pregnant. However, I'm switching pills to see if I can combat that other issues I've been having n_n
Posts: 206 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2008
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Smokey: You say nearly all your friends are on hormonal BC, so that makes you feel uneasy about just using condoms? Is it perhaps the implication that condoms aren't effective enough, or that hormonal BC is the only "right" or "responsible" way to prevent pregnancy? Help me understand better. :)
Bun Bun: So for you, condoms are honky dory, but the pill gives you the iffies. You say that you can't "see" the pill working the way you can with other meds, plus the light withdrawal bleeding makes you nervous.
Great! Can anyone else reply, even if just to agree with someone else?
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
im not on birth control but im hoping to be soon.. i think my fear is that even if me and my boyfriend have protection i still always feel that i'll be part of the percentage of failure rates. i also will need to pay for it myself because my mother wont allow me to have birth control, so i have to go about it myself.. i just worry about risks that i might not even have to worry about.
Posts: 167 | From: usa | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
Might it help to recognize that the kind of people saying things like that condoms have big holes you can't see tend to be the same people who think of the Rapture as an exit strategy?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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Haha yeah probably. Tbh, after researching it all and getting some good data and statistics on how everything is tested and the actual rates of breakages and all that.. differences between perfect and typical use... I'm totally fine with it. It also means that the next time one of my friends tells me that there are microscopic holes in them I have enough info to win an argument! Posts: 92 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2008
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posted
My fiancé didn't mind condoms til i let him have sex without one and now he hates them XD My periods are pretty crazy and messed up naturally so I don't mind being on BC and I trust that pretty much. If I've ever missed one [I rarely do] I've told him and we've used backup contraception just to be safe until I'm 100% sure I'm protected again.
Back in the condom days, one time the condom broke It was at a low risk time in my cycle and I got the EC within 12 hours but it still freaked me out. I wouldn't rely on just condoms again XD The pill is in effect and working before, during and after sex. Doesn't interrupt the flow, either. I love that you can have spontaneous sex on the pill without having to worry about pregnancy rather than *things are getting good* 'lol, one sec, i have to put this thing on =D' ¬_¬ xD
I think injection or implant would be good, I'm looking into that. That way, you can't just forget and miss a pill, there's no condom to break, etc.
Also agree with Smokey, when I WAS just on condoms, everyone else was on the pill and one of my friends even had a go at me, implying that I was being irresponsible, 'they're not even that effective, you should use something else!' etc etc -___-
posted
Might it help some of you on hormonal methods to perhaps look at other medications that shift body chemistry, like antidepressants, for instance, or treatments for diabetes or thyroid issues?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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I've been on antidepressants before, and birth control, but not at the same time. If I were to be put on both, would that limit the effectiveness or cause more side effects? I often wondered. AD's had a lot of side effects for me anyway. I'd be quite interested to know more about it.
My fiancé's mum was on medication for a thyroid problem and she was actually on a hormonal pill at the time she conceived his older sister :s I'm not sure if it was because of the thyroid medication or if she missed a pill or what. You'd think a doctor would check for clashes, though.
Posts: 44 | From: Uk | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
No, those medications are not generally likely to interact with each other. But just FYI, if you have issues with depression, Depo-Provera or the implant may not be sound choices for you, and progestin-only methods can tend to make depression worse for many people.
What I was suggesting, though, was not looking at possible interactions, but at seeing that those kinds of medications do a very good job at altering body chemistry. Knowing that, it might be easier to see how the pill or other OCPs can, too.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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k486: You are put off by condoms, and untrustful because of a previous breakage. It's also just out-and-out not a method you want to use, so I'll factor this out, as I'm aiming for more like why someone chooses and sticks with a type of BC they don't trust.
Jazzed, however, that you're happy with the pill!
Heather brought up a good point; people rely on diabetes/thyroid meds all the time to keep from getting really sick, and they manipulate hormone levels just like the pill. The only indication they don't work is getting really sick, as the CHBC's is well.. getting really pregnant. So, does that help connect the dots any, or is it still an "eh"?
Also, I'm wondering if worrying about withdrawal bleeding is rooted in pregnancy myths? Like, bleeding lightly/more short being an indication? Would it help at all to learn more about typical (usually-non-)bleeding patterns in pregnancy, and why CHBC pregnancies will usually follow the same characteristics?
This could also address the problem of not "knowing" the pills is working despite the medication comparison above; spacer pills/withdrawal bleeding was actually integrated into BCP's expressly so women could see the bleeding and not worry about being pregnant.
quote:Originally posted by Heather: FYI, if you have issues with depression, Depo-Provera or the implant may not be sound choices for you, and progestin-only methods can tend to make depression worse for many people
Wow, my doctor never told me that about POP, even when I told him that the combined pill had made my mood swings worse and I brought up the history of depression o.o Would you recommend injection over the implant, then?
Sorry sorry, going off-topic! xD
Every now and then even when I've been taking the pill correctly, I worry if I haven't had a period in a while that something might have gone wrong.
As someone else stated in the thread, you don't think 'well 99.99% of people use this and don't get pregnant! ' you think 'oh god, I bet I'm going to end up in that stupid fricking 0.01% ¬__¬'. Pregnancy is a huge thing and can be really catastrophic when it comes unplanned at a real bad time. So I think it's natural to worry a bit about it ^^
I think the worst factor though, is people spreading false information like about condoms having holes that sperm can get through- it makes people trust it less and that could either make them afraid to have sex, or just think 'whats the point in even using it, i could get pregnant anyway even with the condom' (i have a friend who thinks like that... i have no idea how she's not pregnant yet because she rarely if ever uses protection -.-)
Posts: 44 | From: Uk | Registered: Jun 2008
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quote:Would you recommend injection over the implant, then?
Not at all: the opposite, actually, if you're going to try one versus the other. You can't remove the injection, and often side effects will last longer than three months. You can, however, remove the implant if you have bad side effects, and it's also on a slow-time release, rather than one big dump of the hormone at once. And ideally, if you're going to try a progestin-only method, it might be best to just try the mini-pill (with a backup method if you don't feel okay about a pill alone) for a cycle or two instead of either, especially if you would be paying cash for the implant, as it's expensive.
Is your doctor someone who is an OB/GYN or well-versed in birth control as his or her practice? If not, I honestly suggest seeing a healthcare pro for BC who in an OB/GYN or who at least is really well-versed in BC.
But, let's get back to the topic. If you want to chat about this more, why don't you start a new thread on this in the birth control forum, okay?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
The pill made me nervous because if something went wrong it was *my* fault, no one else's, and if it did go wrong I wouldn't know until much later.
Unlike with condoms ... if it broke you'd know.. have access to plan b. But the thing that worries me with condoms is that it only takes one mistake. However I use them now consistently.
I loved implanon though, I had no worries about that.
Posts: 76 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
I'm still a virgin but I guess I could add some input.
Psychologically, I think humans are more into "seeing is believeing." With a physcial form of contraception, there's a state of relief in seeing it works, that it's doing its job. With the pill, one can't see. Plus, there's still a chance it may fail as well.
I'm on the pill, but for medical reasons. I admit if I ever have sex, I'd be scared, too, thinking I'd be one of the few statistically to have it fail, and I'm regular at taking it. I'm the kind of person who'd have to see to know that I am in fact safe. I know at my age I could in fact have a child and not get into trouble, etc etc, but finanacially I couldn't be able to take care of it--personally, if an accident happens, I'd feel more relieved if I was married and financially stable first, even if I end up being 30+ by that time. Either that or get my tubes 'tied.'
Posts: 48 | Registered: Oct 2008
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quote:Originally posted by *Lauren*: Also, I'm wondering if worrying about withdrawal bleeding is rooted in pregnancy myths? Like, bleeding lightly/more short being an indication? Would it help at all to learn more about typical (usually-non-)bleeding patterns in pregnancy, and why CHBC pregnancies will usually follow the same characteristics?
This could also address the problem of not "knowing" the pills is working despite the medication comparison above; spacer pills/withdrawal bleeding was actually integrated into BCP's expressly so women could see the bleeding and not worry about being pregnant.
Do this. That would make me feel so much better a lot of the time! Possibly more education about why the pill is so effective and how it works in all of its weird ways. I am on the pill and back-up with condoms, but once some ejaculate spilled out and I got all freaked out, but realize the need for that really isn't there as I am on Yaz. It STILL freaks me out. Ugh.
Posts: 5 | From: Florida | Registered: Sep 2008
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posted
Haha, I had a bit of role reversal in my relationship. We always used both the nuvaring and a condom, but then one day, we started without a condom... and I suddenly realized that I hate condoms. They caused more chafing (yes we used lube), they caused him to last longer (I love sex for the first couple of minutes, after which I start wishing for him to hurry up and finish), and they totally interrupted the flow of things. He, on the other hand, would not go NEAR me without a condom usually, even though I was on the fool-proof nuvaring. I asked him about it and he always said he just couldn't trust the ring. Whenever we had sex without a condom after that, he insisted on pulling out, which he knows to be an ineffective method of birth control. My theory is that people think sperm is WAY more potent than it really is.
Posts: 52 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
I don't recommend the pill or the patch or the iud. My mother got pregnant on the patch twice in the last 5 years and my good friend got pregnant while on the pill. No other protection was used at the time. I also personally know two people who had the iud in and both got pregant within a year of implantation. One friend (it wasnt put in correctly) and the other was. Now I do recommend the shot. They have once a month or once every 3 months. After I had my child I was on the once every 3 months shot and didnt have a period for a year and didnt get pregnant either. The bad part is that the shot has a lot of estrogen in it so you can only take it for so long before it can create bone loss. It also stays in your system for awhile. I have been off the shot for almost 2 years now and havent been able to concieve.
So it really has a lot to do with peoples stories and such on what type of birth contol I prefered.
Posts: 20 | From: usa | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Thing is, people tend to lie about how well they use a method, because they often don't want the blame for an unintended pregnancy. It's way easier to say a method "just didn't work" than admit they knowingly did it wrong.
Also, many claim "perfect use" of a method, but often aren't told what that entails by their healthcare provider. Some women are told to "just try to take a pill every day" or "start the next pack of pills when your period is over", which both leave room for typical, not perfect use, unbenownst to the patient, who WAS "using it perfectly" when she got pregnant, as far as she knew.
So, I'd encourage everybody to look at stories with some skepticism. Does that mean everybody who claims to have a method failure with perfect use is lying? No, because they do happen, and pregnancies do result from such. But the fact of the matter is, MANY more people claim perfect-use method failure than is statistically possible. So it's just not sound to not recommend certain methods based on a few stories, especially with high-efficacy methods like the IUD (both the copper and hormone types have failure rates matching or surpassing surgical sterilization even with typical use).
(A PS on the shot information you gave, temptationsgirl; it contains no estrogen. The Lunelle (one-month) shot did, but it has been discontinued since 2003. It's the high levels of progesterone completely inhibiting follicular development that decreases estrogen levels, not increases due content, and thus, the side effect of bone density loss.)
posted
I'm on the pill, and have been for several years, but still use protection every time even though I am in a monogamous and tested relationship (for over a year)... so it sounds sort of like I'm the textbook definition of what you're curious about.
I have trouble trusting the pill because right now, as a college student, if I were to get pregnant it would really mess up my education and my goals, and that's a risk I'm not willing to take. I also do agree with the whole "seeing is believing" argument. I know a condom is working, but I don't know if birth control is.
I am also not sure if I take it accurately enough, and do not want to risk anything because of that.
It does bother my boyfriend a bit, but he buys condoms anyway.
Posts: 41 | From: East Coast, USA | Registered: May 2008
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So now, according to you, Brassgirl, the protection afforded by the pill simply isn't enough because you can't accept a even a very small risk of pregnancy. You need to also use a condom to "see" it at work.
Now I'm curious; do you worry badly about pregnancy when using the pill alone? What about pill + condoms? Does that feel safe enough? Why or why not?
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I currently use comdoms with my girlfriend. I have some trouble trusting them, because my GF's vaginal fluids are similar in colour to my semen. As semen is often not gathered in one spot yet when I retract, it looks like its actually on the outside. I've got used to it by now, and occasionally inflate the condom just to see that there's no leaks. (I always check the condom, just don't always inflate it).
It also stems from the irrational fear that there might be miniscule holes that I cannot see, can't recognise in the amount of semen present after retraction, yet still give sufficient amount of semen the ability to get through.
My GF and I are still planning to just try to see what happens if I put a condom in it with a very small (purposely made) hole in it. (not to be used for sex of course )
I have had girlfriends in the past that only used the pill. I am perfectly confident with that, to be honest.
[ 11-12-2008, 07:24 AM: Message edited by: Black Kitten ]
-------------------- "Perfection is the absence of humanity" Posts: 12 | From: The Netherlands, Europe | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
I feel less confident in my bc methods mainly because it is so important that they do work. Having a child is not something that I want to be a favorable chance that I won't, I want it to not happen, period. So if I feel there is any chance, I get creeped out.
My partner and I used to use condoms and I was on the pill every time because we wanted no pregnancy and as little chance for error as possible. In the last few months we have cut down on the condom use, though he still pulls out. This happened after I read up that precum doesn't always have sperm, or significant amounts of sperm in it.
Basically, I would be super confident in my bc if having a baby was something Id rather not do, like I'd rather not work on Friday night, if I had a 99.9% of not working that night I'd feel great. I could, but I just don't wanna.
But that's not my situation with bc. I feel that a pregnancy would cause an amazing negative change in my life leading me to make a decision that I never want to face in this stage of my life. Having a .01% chance of that still scares me, though I'm feeling better now that I'm older and more able to deal with a pregnancy than say, in high school.
Posts: 70 | From: Fullerton, CA, USA | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
My boyfriend's sister was concieved while his mom was regularly taking hormonal birth control. My best friend's roommate was concieved while her mom was regularly taking hormonal birth control.
Then there's the factor that you don't know if your birth control has worked or failed until it's too late to take Plan B.
I trust condoms. Physical barrier, and you can tell if it breaks or falls off and presents a risk, so you KNOW it's there and can take an Emergency Contraceptive right away.
Posts: 28 | From: A building | Registered: Apr 2008
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But again, I really want people to try not to factor stories in, and I went through the reasons above. Don't get me wrong, failures DO happen with HBC and any other method. But some people, especially moms, can be tempted to stretch the truth a bit to try to scare their kids/other teens out of sexual activity.
As well, back when our moms were young, pill use often entailed being told by their doctor things like "just try to take one every day" or "start the next pack of pills when your period is over", and often didn't have as involved rules as to what to do when a pill was missed. So, I'd also bear in mind that lots of moms, aunts, and grandmas WERE using the pill perfectly, but only as far as they were informed. We know today that lots of these guidelines are actually perfect ways to screw up pill-taking and get pregnant.
posted
I totally trust hormonal BC even though I can't see it working, because, as has been said in this thread, hormones can have a huge effect on the human body. I have a friend who had his thyroid removed due to cancer, and I know many people with diabetes or clinical depression for whom hormonal therapy has helped...hormones can be great or terrible depending on their use, but they're definitely not ineffective!
My issue is that I was on the pill for a year and then I switched to the ring, and I just tend to worry sometimes that the ring isn't releasing the hormones. There's no real way to know (it should change color or something, lol!) other than feeling the hormonal side effects, and I've had a lot less of those on the ring than the pill.
But whereas most people talk about condoms as being able to see and believe, I felt that way about pills, because I knew I was taking them each day and thus they were working (I never thought of the possibility that the pills were duds, partly because I had bad side effects so I didn't really question that).
Still, I love the ring and this isn't a serious worry...it's just a little flag I have up in my mind, which makes me pay more attention to my cycle to make sure it's being hormonally modified! Posts: 96 | From: West Coast USA | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I've been using the birth control patch, and basically I worry about it not working because it slides around sometimes. The edges are sticky and pick up lint from my underwear and clothes, which then falls off, and makes me nervous about getting less hormones, or something. And it collects water in the shower from time to time, and I wonder about the water washing away the hormones.
I trust it most of the time, but around when my period should be arriving, I get a little nervous that maybe i've done something wrong, or something went wrong that maybe wasn't my fault.
We haven't used condoms since our first couple times, because my partner has a latex allergy, and we're poor. We'd been getting them free from school, but sadly, the school offers only latex, and alternatives are expensive, and i've heard they're less effective.
-------------------- Only dead fish swim WITH the stream. Posts: 3 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2008
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(Just FYI, nonlatex condoms are not less effective than condoms are. Their effectiveness rates are the same.)
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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It was at a low risk time in my cycle and I got the EC within 12 hours but it still freaked me out. I wouldn't rely on just condoms again XD The pill is in effect and working before, during and after sex. Doesn't interrupt the flow, either. I love that you can have spontaneous sex on the pill without having to worry about pregnancy rather than *things are getting good* 'lol, one sec, i have to put this thing on =D' ¬_¬ xD![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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