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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Losing It

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Author Topic: Losing It
adrianaxlauren
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Member # 40570

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So this has been something that I have been thinking about for quite some time now. I have a guy friend, we'll call him Shawn, that I have been friends with since elementary school. For years, we have liked each other. Shawn has moved away since, but comes back to town over the summer for a visit. I was thinking of losing my, ehem, V to him. I have been doing all the research about contraceptives and I would definetly use protection (and knowing him, it wouldn't even be a problem). But....I need advice..should I have my first time with Shawn this summer?
Posts: 10 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
banana'sdream
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well, first, do note that it is illegal in many states to have sex before the age of 18.^^ and did you look at this to see if your ready?http://www.scarleteen.com/article/boyfriend/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist

i don't know too much, because I'm not thinking of that yet, so sorry, this is all i can give you.><

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what is reality? it can be a dream, right?

Posts: 13 | From: bed | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chris Michael
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It's up to you, this isn't a right or wrong thing, it's a whatever you believe is okay thing. In other words, an opinion. My opinion is that it would be much more enjoyable if you were actually able to date him, otherwise, you'll do it and just want more, yet be unable to get any from him very often. Not to mention you'd have lost your virginity with a guy you can't even date.

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"I can go without risk and feel dead, or take risks and be alive."

Posts: 9 | From: Atlanta, Georgia | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
banana'sdream
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i'm sorry, i need to clarify my first sentence, it's just in case you are......i'm sorry.

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what is reality? it can be a dream, right?

Posts: 13 | From: bed | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
adrianaxlauren
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Thanks both of you for your advice!

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"Sometimes the best things in life don't come easy"

Posts: 10 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
acgal
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Just keep in mind, it's gonna be your first time. It's gonna be one of those things you'll always look back on. Make sure Shawn is the right guy, and someone you trust enough to give your virginity to.

Don't forget the risks involved with sex. Will Shawn stick by you if you get pregnant? Can you trust Shawn enough that when he says he doesn't have an STD, you know he doesn't have an STD? Losing your virginity (although, that makes it sound like such a negative thing! haha) to someone is a very emotional experience, and you'll always have a special bond with that person when it happens - are you willing for that person to be Shawn?

If you think you're ready, and that you fully trust Shawn, YAY! Totally go for it. But remember, this is a major decision not to be taken lightly. Go over all the positives and negatives.

I hope I didn't scare you! I'm not saying Shawn is bad guy, I just hope you won't regret it after it happens.

Posts: 35 | From: NJ | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
adrianaxlauren
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that's a really good point acgal, it didn't scare me because those are extremely important factors to think about!

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"Sometimes the best things in life don't come easy"

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buckeyechelle
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I'm not sure if it would help any, but my first time was with a guy I was friends with but who lived a few hours away. At the time I thought it was a good idea and that maybe we would be able to start dating but we didn't and after I met my (now) boyfriend I regreted it. Your virginity is something you can't take back and I really wish that I would have saved myself for him. My advice is to think long and hard about this and just make sure your making the right decision.
Posts: 2 | From: Pittsburgh | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
adrianaxlauren
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I'm really sorry to hear that. But thanks for the advice!

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"Sometimes the best things in life don't come easy"

Posts: 10 | From: Philadelphia | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Honestly, it seems to me you;re asking about going from 0 to 60.

In other words, this is the kind of thing you figure out by spending in-person time with someone, by seeing how you both feel, how other kinds of sexual activity feel and go between you.

It's October. Summer is a loooooooong way away. So, why not just live your life now, and if and when he comes back this summer, if and when he does you're both single, if and when he does you both find you share these feelings, you can see how things go gradually. You'll be able to have a much better idea that way, in real-time, about how you feel and what you (both: after all, this is his decision, too, and also about what he wants and needs) think on this.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67055 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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