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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » scared and clueless!!

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Author Topic: scared and clueless!!
claramay
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Me and my boyfriend were at a party last week, and we were both feeling v. horny, so we went up to my friends bedroom and started having sex. We didn't really think about it, and it was unprotected!!!! We are both really worried now that i might be pregnant. I don't know what the hell to do, coz i am only just
14. I was due to get my period around the day of the party, but one week on, and i still haven't got it! i don't want to take a test coz i am too scared of the result. PLEASE HELP!! [Confused]

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*~Clara~*

Posts: 4 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smokey
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Go and see a doctor ASAP. Take a test as well. The thing with pregnancy is that it's better to get the result known the sooner so that you have more options with how you want to deal with it. Also, let someone who cares about you know so that you have someone to share it all with... so maybe let your boyfriend know or one of your close friends, but ideally your parents... But yes... let someone know, take a test and go and see a doctor ASAP.
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-Lauren-
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... but do make sure the test is taken around 2 weeks post-risk, or it may not be accurate. The rest of smokey's advice stands. :)
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
claramay
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thanks guys, i have told my boyfriend, but i dunno how to approach my 'rents. They will hate me and think i am a slut, coz i am 13 and they don't even know i am having sex. imagine how they will react if i am pregnant! [Frown]

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*~Clara~*

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smokey
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Read this thread: http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/10/t/000259.html#000000

I understand how daunting a task it can be. I'm 19 and it took me being randomly nauseous before my mother put two and two together to suss out if I had gotten pregnant. It turned out to be just a case of reflux, but putting out that I was sexually active certainly made things a little awkward, especially for the period where the possibility of pregnancy came up.

The thread has a few pointers on how to keep it together when you're doing something as scary as telling your parents. They might be angry at first, but they will hopefully support you through all of this as well.

Trust me, you will feel a lot better about all of this when you come clean with them... I'm a pro at keeping things from my parents! But at 19 I've finally figured out that it's better to let them know ALL the details [Smile] I do know how hard it can be though.

Good luck with it Clara and just remember that we're here to help you out or need someone to just listen to you [Smile]

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wyntermidnite
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Well, first and foremost, make sure you're pregnant if you think revealing that you are sexually active to your parents would cause major problems. Wait 10 days -2 weeks depending on the pregnancy test brand (first response seems to be pretty trustworthy) but always take one test and wait another 5 days or so and take a second one just to make sure the result wasn't false.

You can go to a clinic like Planned Parenthood for free and be anonymous and get info (but make sure it's reputable, there are crisis pregnancy centers that would talk you out of abortion), and depending on your health care plan you probably are protected with privacy in sexual matters (in California the age of confidential sexual doctor's care is 12, it may be different where you are.)

But honey, you're 13! If he is older than you even by a few months (and it makes him a year older than you) it could mean he's committing statutory rape! He could go to jail for this! I know you can't do anything about this time, but please, don't let there be a next time for several years. You're too young and obviously not being responsible enough to handle having sex.

If you can't handle a pregnancy or abortion now then DON'T HAVE SEX. This should be one of the scariest things that has ever happened to you, let it be a lesson to wait a while or get seriously responsible (that means 2 forms of birth control, STD checks for you and him and 'female' checkups every 6 months-year.)

If you feel that you can't handle the lady check up then you shouldn't be having sex, if you can't trust yourself to use a condom every time, you shouldn't be having sex, if you're too scared to go and get on a birth control then you shouldn't be having sex. Get real with yourself. Be responsible, whether that's having safe sex or no sex. But commit to it and do it quick.

Posts: 70 | From: Fullerton, CA, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wyntermidnite
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Well, first and foremost, make sure you're pregnant if you think revealing that you are sexually active to your parents would cause major problems. Wait 10 days -2 weeks depending on the pregnancy test brand (first response seems to be pretty trustworthy) but always take one test and wait another 5 days or so and take a second one just to make sure the result wasn't false.

You can go to a clinic like Planned Parenthood for free and be anonymous and get info (but make sure it's reputable, there are crisis pregnancy centers that would talk you out of abortion), and depending on your health care plan you probably are protected with privacy in sexual matters (in California the age of confidential sexual doctor's care is 12, it may be different where you are.)

But honey, you're 13! If he is older than you even by a few months (and it makes him a year older than you) it could mean he's committing statutory rape! He could go to jail for this! I know you can't do anything about this time, but please, don't let there be a next time for several years. You're too young and obviously not being responsible enough to handle having sex.

If you can't handle a pregnancy or abortion now then DON'T HAVE SEX. This should be one of the scariest things that has ever happened to you, let it be a lesson to wait a while or get seriously responsible (that means 2 forms of birth control, STD checks for you and him and 'female' checkups every 6 months-year.)

If you feel that you can't handle the lady check up then you shouldn't be having sex, if you can't trust yourself to use a condom every time, you shouldn't be having sex, if you're too scared to go and get on a birth control then you shouldn't be having sex. Get real with yourself. Be responsible, whether that's having safe sex or no sex. But commit to it and do it quick.

Posts: 70 | From: Fullerton, CA, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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