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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » What to do when i'm ready for more

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Author Topic: What to do when i'm ready for more
Member # 39957

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I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now and we haven't done anything past a little making out and light nibbling. I've told him that i'm not ready to have intercourse and neither is he but i do want to try new things because i trust our relationship to try them, but i don't know how to go about doing it. I know most of my option like oral or manual sex but i don't know how to be sure that i don't hurt him. How can i make sure both of us are safistied and cause no damage?


Posts: 2 | From: Colorado | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 35890

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I'm not sure what you mean by "hurting him"/cause no damage." Are you talking about physical issues or emotional ones?

Just to be clear, if you feel like you want to engage in new activities with him, then it's time you had a talk about these things to make sure you both very much want to be participating in these activities. Beyond that, communication about what feels good and what does not is endlessly important when sexual activities are at hand.

This article may be of some help:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats, and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Scarleteen Volunteer

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

Posts: 755 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Blue Koi
Member # 39785

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There are many things that you can do other than intercourse. In fact, you may find that because the vaginal canal is not one of the most sensitive parts of the femal sexual anatomy, other sexual acts may feel more pleasurable! I agree with Horizon-the only sure way to make sure you're not hurting each other is communication, before, during, after, whenever. There should be enough communication that you both feel comfortable about what you are doing.

To give you an idea of some of the other things you can do other than oral or manual sex:

Mutual Masturbation
"Dry Sex" or Frottage
sexual talk, role play and other kinds of stimulation.

Make sure that whatever you do, you should always be safe! Check out the "safety gear" for each activity here:
Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

Posts: 171 | From: USA/CHINA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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