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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Laughing at Inopportune Times?

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Author Topic: Laughing at Inopportune Times?
Member # 39222

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I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, but due to a long distance between us we haven't had a chance to spend much time with each other until now while we're temporarily living with each other. Of course with more time together comes more time for sex. Although I'd done other things before, I hadn't had intercourse until really the other day....unfortunately things weren't going perfectly (when do they ever on a first or second try?) and though I was enjoying it I was feeling a bit embarrassed and started giggling. Needless to say he wasn't happy, and I can understand why. We did some other things we hadn't done before as well and I got embarrassed again and nearly blew it with my giggling. I didn't even know I was doing it until he pointed it out and then I was more embarrassed and started giggling more! Not very romantic.

So, my question is: How do you deal with embarrassment and the urge to giggle when you're just trying something for the first time and its a bit awkward? I love my guy very much, but I can understand him being a bit upset that I'm giggling at such a bad time.

Posts: 46 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38302

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Reading this post makes me giggle, Obi. I've definitely been there [Smile] In fact.. before my boyfriend and I decided to have sex we both agreed and joked about how much giggling there would be (mostly on my part). That being said, we're still getting used to having sex together and the last time I saw him (visited him as we are apart for summer) we tried something sorta new and my very short episode of the giggles hurt his feelings, he didn't know why I was "laughing at him" during sex. I quickly reminded him (and also boosted his ego) that I wasn't laughing at him, I was giggling because I was enjoying myself, that I wasn't sure what I was doing and that I'd rather be open with my embarrassment than hide the way I'm feeling. Giggling is a lot better than silence if you're trying something for the first time, perhaps you should suggest him helping you out by responding to what is going on as well, do you guys communicate during sex?

Since he was my first partner the first few times were really "giggly" but it was obviously still enjoyable. We switch from serious to playful and goofy so easily to begin with that I felt like the giggling allowed me NOT to feel embarrassed. Are you more likely to open up to him and the experience when you're worrying about filtering yourself and holding back laughter, or do you think it would be more enjoyable for the two of you if you were able to express yourself fully? If something is embarrasses you, laugh about it! That way he can help it be less embarrassing or try something else. Even laughter will heighten the experience, as silly as it may sound. There is a great article on this site about sexual responses and I suggest you read that also.

Good luck giggles [Smile]

Posts: 48 | From: USA | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Great advice, allik!

Obi, you may also want to take a look at this response Heather gave someone asking a similar question.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Member # 23917

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Hey, better giggling than awkward silence, I say. When I'm uncomfortable or nervous in a sexual situation (or any situation, really), laughing helps me calm down and enjoy myself more. My girlfriend and I will often dissolve into giggles when things get awkward, and it ends up making things way less awkward if we can laugh about it together.

Does your boyfriend know that you're laughing because you're embarrassed, and not for some other reason? 'Cause if he doesn't know what you're laughing about, he might feel awkward. Just saying something like, "Sorry, it's not you. I'm just feeling a little nervous" when you find yourself giggling ought to dissipate any upset-ness he might be feeling.

Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 37835

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The first time I had sex (it was my then boyfriend's first time too), it was REALLY awkward and we both completely cracked. Like couldn't stop laughing for half an hour. And we talked about it ("Oh man, that was bad. Really bad... but funny in the same way that really bad movies are funny..."), and everything was okay. We were both laughing because we were embarrassed at not "knowing" how to have sex. And you know what? Four years later, that incident laughing really hard while trying to have sex is a memory that still makes me laugh. He and I have talked about it recently (we broke up a loonnnggg time ago, but still talked until six months ago), and he feels the same way.

So just talk about it and try to look at it a different way. For my ex, the awkward laughing was merely "proof that we need more practice!" (I laughed at that statement too, fortunately, that was his intent). I believe having a sense of humor about sex is a very healthy thing.

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
paper towel
Member # 39124

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I love laughing during sex! It makes me feel even closer and more comfortable. Because let's be honest here... sometimes sex sounds funny. Lotsa funny noises going on.
Posts: 52 | From: Oregon | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39394

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well laughing is just normal
like its not like ur laughing at ur bf, ur just trying to like realize wat ur doing. ive been seein gthis guy for over a year, and yeah hes my ex bf from like last summer but even now like a whole year later like we are still tryin gnew things and wen we both notice that something feels funny or like something happens that isnt supposed to [[certian noises or watever]] we just smile look at each other in the eyes and laugh. it shouldnt make ur bf feel bad like if anything it should actually bring you two closer because ur opening up and being comfy

Posts: 3 | From: los angeles CA | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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