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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasms...

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Author Topic: Orgasms...
Member # 36078

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I'm putting a Q. mark next to this, because I'm interested in other people's thoughts and experiences.

Only recently did I think about how when I've orgasmed (within the past... hm... 6 months?) it has been distinctly less powerful than it was before. And I don't mean 'it' as in, it's always the same, because obviously not. But I was wondering whether anyone else has noticed such fluctuation? I seem to get aroused very easily still (and I mean, really, really aroused, not just thinking that the idea is good), but to actually orgasm is taking me *much* longer, and ultimately not as satisfying. I'm guessing that we all have times when it's like this, but I'm also thinking that 6 months or so is a long time... and heck, it's not like I feel much inhibition about it: I'd love to have the kind of orgasms which I used to have so easily, but they just don't seem to happen right now. Do you know when you get really intense pleasure, and it's like it's building up, but then it just doesn't actually climax, so there is no release? It's kind of frustrating.

I'd like to know whether anyone else has had this kind of thing happening?... like, going from being able to orgasm easily, having an orgasm which completely is just *the* best sensation ever, especially if shared with a partner (and repeatedly in the same session), to finding the tipping point seemingly untouchable. Also, when I do orgasm, it just doesn't have the same effect on me. I know I am orgasming, but mentally I feel like I'm not, like I'm not letting myself go with it. I used to end up physically unable to walk for a while afterwards, because it would take over my entire body; I would even have headaches (from the blood, I presume?) a couple of hours afterwards, or wake up with one... but now it's like 'oh... that was all?'. Don't get me wrong, it *is* pleasurable (I wouldn't do it if it wasn't!)... just not anywhere near as intensely; in comparison it's mild.

Also, do you think it's possible to get too accustomed to a certain way of masturbating? Or thinking about certain ideas? Since being with my new partner, I just don't feel it as much... I want it to be pleasurable for us both, very much, and I'm know he wants this too. It's not like I don't feel pleasure: I do, intensely, but not as much. It used to feel pleasure running through my entire body: tingling, awesome sensation... I feel lost in how to regain the kind of excitement I used to feel, and the comfort in completely letting myself climax to the extent I just didn't care, and that the pleasure overruled everything. (I kind of miss it.)

I suppose the obvious things are to not focus on orgasming, but the process: which I am trying to do, but I feel like physically I just yearn for the release of an orgasm, of overriding pleasure, that I am ending up frustrated at myself. How have I gone from being able to almost orgasm plainly from thought, to finding it so difficult now? It's not as if in my relationship, or just when masturbating, the focus is just genital - it's not - it's from the feet to the hair on our head...

Any suggestions?

Posts: 79 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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This happens a LOT more than you probably realize.

Our bodies aren't machines: we go through hormonal fluxuations that can (and does) affect our sex drives, too. You're going to go through periods in your life where you have a very high libido, and other times when nothing interests you.

And yes, our bodies can get used to certain stimuli as well. So changing things up a bit is helpful not only in keeping sex and masturbation interesting, but in getting to know your body really well so that you know what works and what doesn't.

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36078

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I thought it happened, but I also thought that for so long is really strange?

Yeh, I know my hormones recently have been crazy, so I was thinking maybe that's something to do with it, but it's puzzling how I feel so aroused, and yet orgasming doesn't seem to follow easily. I certainly don't feel like I'm participating in sex when I'm not aroused.

Mmmnnn... thing is, I thought I knew what worked, but I guess I become too reliant on certain things. Recently with my boyfriend, he was touching me in a way I'd never touched myself, and it was really pleasurable, yet kind of surprising, because I'd never felt that kind of sensation ever before. That can only be a good thing, though... [Smile]

Thanks for the reply. I suppose I need to chill out a bit, and not put so much pressure on my body.

Posts: 79 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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