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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Looking for help (a bit embarrassed)

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Author Topic: Looking for help (a bit embarrassed)
Member # 34303

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I'm 19 years old and the girl i'm dating is 18 and we've been having sex for about 4 months, dating for 3, (thought i should give a little background) and before we even started having sex she told me she had never experienced an orgasm before. Our first sexual encounter was me giving her cunnilingus (is that the correct syntax?) and she climaxed. I was happy. However, our next encounter a week later was intercourse and I couldn't make her climax. It's been 4 months and i've tried almost every position i can think of. I've had quite a few sexual partners and i've never had any complaints before and i really care about this girl. It's heartwrenching that something that i take so seriously is so unsatisfying for her (at least the penetration. i always make sure she comes via clitoral stimulation)

I don't know what to do! Maybe i'm too small for her. She told me her first sexual partner had an enormous penis (9+ inches) and she isn't exactly TIGHT around my penis but not loose. I'm thinking perhaps she's been stretched? I don't know what to do and it's been 3 months. Lately i've also begun to come prematurely.

I've been doing some research on the matter before turning to forums (this would be the first forum) for help. I smoke regularly (4-7 cigarettes a day) and i'd like to know if anyone here has experienced the same problems?

Any and all insight is greatly appreciated. I'm getting very desperate here. I don't want to try sex-toys because I know i'll feel emasculated =,(

Is it possible to be capable of having an orgasm via clitoral stimulation but not through intercourse? Is my size a factor? The shape?

I don't know what to do...

Posts: 2 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It's simpler than you think.

For starters, the vagina and vaginal opening really can't be stretched by penises. The vaginal canal gets looser or tighter -- dynamically and temporarily -- with arousal and relaxation, constantly. It's a muscle, after all.

Really, most women really won't orgasm from intercourse alone. If you've had a LOT of partners and it seems they all could, my guess is you had a few fakers in there. Usually, when women orgasm from intercourse, it's due to combining intercourse with another activity, like manual clitoral stimuation. And that's something you can do, combine activities, with your partner.

And that alone not getting there doesn't make anything wrong or lacking with either of you, I promise. It's just physiologically normal, given how the female anatomy is constructed, for most women not to reach orgasm from intercourse alone, and for many women who reach orgasm through intercourse -- no matter the size of a penis, especially in terms of length, which has no bearing here -- to most often do so with combined stimulation. [Smile]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 34303

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Thanks =)

I'll try to combine activities and see how that fares.

Posts: 2 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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