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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Why do people forgo protection?

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Author Topic: Why do people forgo protection?
Member # 34024

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I'm simply curious why people (of all ages) refrain from using condoms, birth control or any other sort of preventitive measure when they have intercourse? Is it a choice or a financial matter? If it's a choice, are people aware of the risks or too caught in the moment? WHY does this happen? I cannot seem to answer it myself.
Posts: 2 | From: Twin Cities | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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I have been guilty of forgoing protection before. When you're in the "heat of the moment", sometimes you or your partner can convince you that it will feel better if you don't use a condom, or it will interrupt the flow of things. I have also occasionally been lazy about taking my BC pill on time, which is even more risky because it can mess with your whole cycle. In both situations I have known the risk I was taking and did it anyway. Illogical, yes, but sometimes we can convince ourselves that something is in our best interest or "worth it" when it clearly isn't.

I think some people actively make the choice to not use protection, whether it's because they don't want to, get suckered into it by a partner not wanting to, or what have you. It's like playing Russian roulette, yes, but for some it's a risk they are willing to take. There's the popular "it's like taking a shower with a raincoat on" excuse, the "they don't make them in my size", the "I want to feel you", all sorts of "reasons."

Others may not be able to afford buying contraceptives, and have not sought out resources for lower-cost contraceptives through Planned Parenthood or other sexual health clinic.

Most people know that you have a high chance of becoming pregnant when you forgo using any form or protection, but fewer people know of all the various STIs you can get through unprotected sex. Often, people take a bigger risk than they intend to when they decide to skip the condoms. It's a combination of ignorance and active risk-taking.

[ 05-25-2007, 04:33 PM: Message edited by: faifai ]

disconnect and let me drift/until my upside down is right side *in*

Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33993

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idk abt bc...i dont think id ever forgo taking that, but condoms people forgo using them because for the guy it's like night and day with and without one. it feels better without. i know for me, my bf has convinced me to do him for a little w/o one on, even tho its probably not safe to do that. he's never insisted we do it without but i usually agree when he suggests it. so one partner convincing the other it's okay could be a reason. or maybe ppl run out of condoms but can't hold back from having sex in the heat of the moment. -shrug-

you promised me heaven but put me through hell...

Posts: 72 | From: illinois | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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"For guys the difference is like night and day".

I'm sorry, but no. Seriously. Latex is so incredibly thin and transfers heat so well, any guy who claims that much of a difference is making up excuses. It's like.. a fraction of the cushioning his own skin provides.

Anybody who wouldn't take a very, very minimal amount of sensation loss if any -- considering as females, we experience the same in the act of intercourse anyway, especially if using a hormonal method oneself, since ongoing side effects include loss of libido and lubrication for many women -- I'd consider too selfish to sleep with.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(And just to chime in, it's actually a far greater difference -- not even the same -- per the chemical and physical experience of sex for women who use hormonal methods of birth control than a latex barrier is for anyone.

Another good reality check on that is to talk to women who have used dental dams: when we experience minimal difference on the clitoris, especially considering the clitoris is more about subtle sensation, whereas with penile sex, it often has more to do with general friction -- which condoms provide MORE of -- and pressure, then it's pretty easy to understand that condoms really are one of the methods with the least impact on sexual experience, rather than most.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled topic, so that I can go do an event right here in the Cities [Smile] Nice one, by the way!)

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
In Love With My Baby
Member # 31696

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Can the type of condom change how much the guy feels? Me and my boyfriend were having sex and we were using a Trojan condom (first and last time for that) and it felt as if neither one of us could feel much after we put that kind on but we put a Durex Ultra Thin on nd it was like there wasnt a condom on...But I went on bc so we could be spontanous and not need to carry condoms to have sex!
Posts: 127 | From: USA | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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My boyfriend actually thought that he wasn't old enough to buy condoms when we first had sex so he had to get some from his older brother (who then told him that anyone can buy condoms). So again, there just isn't enough education on the matter. I will add though that my boyfriend went to very religious schools where sex ed classes either didn't exist or consisted of "If you have sex, you're going to Hell!"

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30313

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I really dont know, I ask people that too.

I know some of my friends have gone without protection and its just like...why? One said that it was because they were "in the mood" but then found they didnt have any condoms on them. I dont see why they couldnt have perhaps waited... but thats just me.

But she wasnt on BC at the time, She said it was because she felt embarrassed to go get it. She felt like she would be judged because of her age.

Another of my friends usually uses protection but then went without once because she wanted to see what it felt like.

So I guess its all down to personal reasons really...

Posts: 83 | From: at my desk | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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