Hokay, this has been bothering me for quite some time. Whenever i masturbate, i usually get to what i think is an orgasm. I don't masturbate with my clitoris, and when i reach orgasm i feel reallt guilty, and twitchy. Is it normal? I get this thing inm y head where i think about all the people that would be dissapointed if they knew i did masturbate. ):
-------------------- Who can take the sunrise, sprinkle it with dew? Posts: 19 | From: Ohio | Registered: May 2006
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I used to feel this way as well. I would never directly touch myself. I would always masturbate through my panties or by rubbing against a pillow. I was taught that touching yourself was dirty and wrong (same for basically any sexual act) and until recently I believed it. It was largely tied into my religious beliefs and since I have started questioning them I no longer feel quite so guilty after I masturbate and I also find that I am doing it much more often.
If you really think about it though do you really think that the people who truly love and care about you would be all that disappointed in you? You are taking care of your sexual needs in a safe way. I am sure my mom would have conniptions if she caught me masturbating but I know she would get over it and she would realize that it is much safer for me to masturbate than to have sex.
I am very paranoid about being caught though. I only do it at night when everyone else is asleep or during the day when I know for sure that I will have the house to myself for long enough and even then I do it in my bedroom with the door locked. When I don't have the house to myself but I feel the urge to masturbate I normally do it in the shower with the bathroom door locked.
I really hope that you can get over feeling guilty though. It is very liberating and satisfying to get past those feelings and to start being able to really take pleasure in the experience instead of just doing it when you feel you just have to have release.
Posts: 12 | From: United States of America | Registered: Mar 2007
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aniagrace made some good points. However, there isn't anything dangerous, persay, about sex, if it is done properly with someone you love and trust, and if you take the measures you need to to protect yourself.
Masturbation is a healthy and normal thing. People young and old do it, so there isn't anything to be ashamed of. I'd be hard pressed to find someone who had never masturbated in their life; so all those people who you think would be disappointed probably masturbate, or have masturbated too.
I've got a book on masturbation, and it claims that 97% of women have masturbated at least once by age 21.
It took me 20 years to masturbate for the first time, for similar reasons as you- I felt ashamed, and mostly grossed out. Fortunately, I've since grown out of that. While I'm no expert in this area, and my technique definitely needs some work, I'm glad I finally got over my inhibitions and gave it a shot. My first experience with it was actually with a partner. He guided one of my hands towards my vagina region, and I took it from there. I think that sort of positive encouragement really was what did the trick, for me. If you are seeing someone, perhaps try something like that? May not be the best way to get started, but it worked for me!
I also recommend reading some masturbation-positive material. Tickle Your Fancy, by Sadie Allison, is the book with that statistic I quoted earlier. Not only does that book state how good for you masturbation can be, it also describes different techniques, in case you (like me) are totally clueless as to what to do once you get your hands down there. Cunt, by Inga Muscio, is another book that has a fair bit of material dedicated to masturbation. The author is a strong advocate of self-love, and while the book contains some pretty heavy feminist content that even I don't fully agree with, at times, the way the author encourages you to love what's between your legs makes this another great read.
And good luck with this, seriously. I hope you're able to get over your inhibitions towards masturbation, because once you do... wow. Is it ever a wonderful thing!
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