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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Worried about penis size

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Author Topic: Worried about penis size
Member # 32851

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Well heres some background info to start off with.

I'm 20 years old now and have never had a girlfriend or any types of sexual encounters in my life. Partially this is my own doing because of the anxiety I have over the size of my penis. I stand about 5'8 - 5'9 and used to weigh over 315 pounds. It looked to me as if there was a large amount of fat around the base of the penis which only allowed the very tip of it to be exposed (about 1" or a little more). If I pulled the fat back however the penis looks to be atleast 3" in length. So with the idea looming in my mind every day that I'd never ever have a relationship with a woman because of my size I decided to lose a lot of weight. I've probably lost 65 pounds so far down to about 250 but the fat pad around my penis seems to have not reduced any althought I'm still easily holding 50 more pounds of fat.

The appearance of my penis as it lies and the notion that once I get down to a healthy weight that it wont look normal pretty much turns my entire life upside down. Its gotten so bad that even when watching porn I'll get depressed about the appearance of the pornstars penis and end up losing my own erection with it being near impossible to get back. Its almost like the mindset I have is affecting me more then the size of my penis.

So I guess the real question here would be is that can you really please a partner with a penis less then 6" in length? I do know that you could please one even without a penis, but I'm talking about vaginal sex here. I know people say things like not all women are size queens and that personality and things like that are more important to a woman then the size of your penis but I do really have to feel like theres a line to be drawn somewhere. I know I'm not 6" but I'm probably 5 to a little over and I'm just paranoid about even meeting a girl due to this depression situation.

Posts: 18 | From: PA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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The myth that bigger=better is really one that tends to be perpetuated more by men than by women. Because the truth is that intercourse is rarely the activity that brings women the most pleasure, regardless of size, due to the fact that there aren't really that many nerve endings in the vaginal canal.

In short, there is no reason to get down about your penis size. You're fairly average, and even if you weren't, it's not the big deal you think it is. Really. I promise.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32476

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Penis size doesnt matter. If it does.. well I must be magic 'cause every girl I've been with has always said I'm the best and I'm about 6.1-3" something like that. But I can see why you might feel embaressed, I feel embaressed even saying that. We just do because society puts so much pressure on it when in reality it really doesnt make much difference unless the woman loves big cocks. And I dont think many do.
Posts: 12 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31422

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The short answer to your question is, "Yes, you can most certainly please a female partner with a penis that is less than 6 inches in length."

Take into consideration that the average vaginal canal is approximately 4 inches in length. Also consider that the majority of the nerve endings a woman has in her vagina are predominantly near the vaginal opening; not deep inside. Another point to ponder is that the "G-Spot" is generally found about 2 inches inside the vagina along the top of the vaginal wall. There is also the issue of penile width, and its place in providing pleasure. Thus, having a penis between 5 and 6 inches (as you've described) is more than sufficient to produce pleasure during vaginal intercourse.

With that said, let's both remember that there is more to sexual pleasure than just vaginal intercourse. Stimulating the clitoris, breasts, inner thighs, nape of the neck, etc. goes a long way toward fulfilling sexual desires in many women. The plain and simple truth is that each and every woman is different, just as men are. Sure, there are many similarities shared among women, but talking with your partner about the things that feel good is of the upmost importance. Sometimes, a man can get caught up with issues related to his penis size, but that same man must remember that his entire body can be used to give sexual pleasure, not just what he has between his legs.

So, you should know that you're o.k. I also wanted to congratulate you on your weight loss and continued dedication to sustaining a healtier lifestyle. You can do it! Look at how far you've come already. GoodLuck!

Posts: 71 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27276

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Just another note, smileyguy, not every woman enjoys having her G-spot stimulated, either. Sex magazines love to hype it up in order to further endorse penis-in-vagina intercourse as the end-all be-all of sex, which is totally offensive and unhealthy.
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Mr. Right
Member # 32848

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Well, I am 9.5 inches and it has worked to my disadvantage more than to my advantage.
Girls mostly do not want to meet me after the first date.
Is it discrimination?

Posts: 1 | From: Las Vegas | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32851

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Well a few responses I guess.

They say most men worry about their size when they shouldn't and thats true because most men are probably 5.5-6 inches and don't have their penis hidden by pubic fat.


Well at 6 inches your average size and average people have sex all the time.

But in general I guess I can see how silly it is, if 5-6 is average then I guess im average.

-Mr. Right

If your 9.5 inches flaccid then I don't know what to tell you. But I've noticed 2 guys who I've played football with in the shower and one had a 6 inch flacid penis and the others was 8 inches. You couldn't really noticed when they were dressed though, unless they were running around the gym where we stayed during camp in their underwear.

I'd gladly trade you =)

Blah I guess worrying about it will only make it worse, and hypothetically create a problem when there doesn't have to be one.

Posts: 18 | From: PA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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(Just a brief reminder to everybody? It's sort of detrimental to the thread to throw around measurements when we're trying to encourage the fact that size does not matter. Sorta countering it by reinforcing those attitudes, you know? All of ya'll are well within what's average; men much smaller function perfectly fine and generally have lovers just as satisfied.)
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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Hi, Joe.

First off, I'm going to agree with Smileyguy; it's freaking awesome how well you've done with weight loss! 65 pounds is a great accomplishment. Are you doing this under the guidance of a physician/nutritionist, or going it alone?

However, being in the mindset of losing weight just so others can find us attractive isn't so productive, because when it comes down to it physical attractiveness isn't the be-all-end-all; relationships where that's the case usually don't last long at all. You're always stuck with you, so you might as well keep yourself happy. [Smile]

Try focusing on the aspects that are you-positive. How do you feel now, compared to then? What benefits are you seeing? Are you seeing an improvement in your health? Does it feel great to get out and get some exercise?

It is absolutely possible to please a partner with any length penis; September already debunked the Big Secret that vaginal intercourse isn't the epitome of pleasure for women, anyway. To boot, any partner worth being with won't look at such shallow criteria.

You mention feeling depressed. If you're under a physician's guidance for weight loss, why not ask them about finding somebody who can support you along the way, like a therapist or nutritionist? Body image problems are tough stuff to deal with, and often don't disappear once a certain goal is reached.

I'm rooting for you. [Smile]

[ 02-26-2007, 10:41 PM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32851

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Losing the weight all on my own. I lift weights regularly (have for the last 3-4 years) but after my normal routine I now do 30 min to an hour of cardio and keep my diet under controll as far as what types of foods I eat and the number of calories I eat every day.

So far I haven't lost any muscle atleast I'm pretty sure because when I was 315 pounds I was only benching 355 and at 250 I got 385 and same with squats I squat heavier then I did at 315 while I weight 250. So until my pysical strength starts to drop I don't know if a doctor is necessary.

Also I know I said that I started losing weight in fear of never having a partner, but I also on my own became very disgusted with what I let my own phsyique drop to. I played football in highschool and looked very good for weighing 260 pounds at 5'10 and was even running faster then some of our linebackers. After highschool I spent a few years doing nothing and gained 55 pounds of solid fat and probably couldn't have outran a paperweight.

I'm doing this for me as much as anything else. I've already had several people I haven't talked to before (but have seen quite alot around town and in the gym) ask me how much I've lost and compliment me on my progress. I'm working really hard to drop another 30 pounds by summer time, I already look much different then I did just 4-5 months ago. The difference in my appearence will make me much happer with who I am, being confident instead of insecure about how I look.

Posts: 18 | From: PA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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