Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » virgin

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: virgin
Member # 32709

Icon 1 posted      Profile for squirrelgirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My boyfriend and I have been trying to sleep together for a while now, but each time he will push and try to enter me, but it won't work - either impossible, or painful. I am very narrow (probably because I am a virgin), even when aroused, and he is quite large. Using a condom doesn't help, as he feels unsexy and it is dry.

We have been going out for 1 and a half years and both love each other. There is no problem with arousal.

Help! any suggestions?

Posts: 7 | From: britain | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Is your partner fully erect? If not, penetration will be very difficult, if not impossible. Also, condoms AND lube are very important. Are you using additional lubrication w/ the condoms? If not, it's not wonder everythings dry! Lube is your friend!!

Are YOU aroused before attempting penetration too? Are you wanting to be having intercourse? If you're unaroused or scared or not wanting to be having sex, it makes it all that more difficult.

Have you been for your annual GYN exam recently? If not, now would be a great time ... You can explain your concerns to your GYN, and have your STI screen while you're there.

Check it out;

First Intercourse 101
Safe, Sound & Sexy : A Safer Sex How-To

Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32709

Icon 1 posted      Profile for squirrelgirl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When we start, he is definitely fully erect, but after a while of pushing and it being painful, he gets awkward and is no longer fully erect, so stops.

I will try with the lube. I am aroused but admittedly scared. Even when aroused I'm wet, but still tight, which of course leads to pain.

It might be a thick hymen problem but I'm not sure .

GYN exam ? please explain? In Britain we have sexual health clinics, but they are much more based on pill-pushing than sexual advice. And my GP is an old man, so that would certainly not help.

Posts: 7 | From: britain | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27276

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gwaihir     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Here's an article that might help explain

Basically you need to go to a gynecologist to get checked up in all manners of sexual health and they're the ones to ask about the pain you're experiencing. I don't know what clinics in Britain are like, so maybe a volunteer who's from there can help you out further.

The problem might be your hymen, or it might not. Bear in mind that being a "virgin" has no bearing on how tight or loose your vagina is: it basically all comes down to fear and arousal. If you're afraid or not aroused enough your muscles will tense and tighten up causing pain and as you've mentioned above, even though you're aroused, you claim your still afraid.
If that's the case, it's a matter of taking more time to get comfortable with sex, do other sexual things that relax and arouse you and use plenty of lube.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27966

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Leabug     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just to clarify: vaginas are NOT tight or loose, most are actually about the same size. You will not get "looser" with sexual experience, nor will you be "tight" due to inexperience. Rather, it all has to do with being relaxed and aroused, as everyone else has explained [Smile]


Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3