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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » virgin

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Author Topic: virgin
squirrelgirl
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Member # 32709

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My boyfriend and I have been trying to sleep together for a while now, but each time he will push and try to enter me, but it won't work - either impossible, or painful. I am very narrow (probably because I am a virgin), even when aroused, and he is quite large. Using a condom doesn't help, as he feels unsexy and it is dry.

We have been going out for 1 and a half years and both love each other. There is no problem with arousal.

Help! any suggestions?

Posts: 7 | From: britain | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Is your partner fully erect? If not, penetration will be very difficult, if not impossible. Also, condoms AND lube are very important. Are you using additional lubrication w/ the condoms? If not, it's not wonder everythings dry! Lube is your friend!!

Are YOU aroused before attempting penetration too? Are you wanting to be having intercourse? If you're unaroused or scared or not wanting to be having sex, it makes it all that more difficult.

Have you been for your annual GYN exam recently? If not, now would be a great time ... You can explain your concerns to your GYN, and have your STI screen while you're there.

Check it out;

First Intercourse 101
Safe, Sound & Sexy : A Safer Sex How-To

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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squirrelgirl
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When we start, he is definitely fully erect, but after a while of pushing and it being painful, he gets awkward and is no longer fully erect, so stops.

I will try with the lube. I am aroused but admittedly scared. Even when aroused I'm wet, but still tight, which of course leads to pain.

It might be a thick hymen problem but I'm not sure .

GYN exam ? please explain? In Britain we have sexual health clinics, but they are much more based on pill-pushing than sexual advice. And my GP is an old man, so that would certainly not help.

Posts: 7 | From: britain | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gwaihir
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Here's an article that might help explain
http://www.scarleteen.com/pink/gyne.html

Basically you need to go to a gynecologist to get checked up in all manners of sexual health and they're the ones to ask about the pain you're experiencing. I don't know what clinics in Britain are like, so maybe a volunteer who's from there can help you out further.

The problem might be your hymen, or it might not. Bear in mind that being a "virgin" has no bearing on how tight or loose your vagina is: it basically all comes down to fear and arousal. If you're afraid or not aroused enough your muscles will tense and tighten up causing pain and as you've mentioned above, even though you're aroused, you claim your still afraid.
If that's the case, it's a matter of taking more time to get comfortable with sex, do other sexual things that relax and arouse you and use plenty of lube.

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Leabug
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Just to clarify: vaginas are NOT tight or loose, most are actually about the same size. You will not get "looser" with sexual experience, nor will you be "tight" due to inexperience. Rather, it all has to do with being relaxed and aroused, as everyone else has explained [Smile]

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Lea

Posts: 2332 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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