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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » burning while fingering

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Author Topic: burning while fingering
cool87
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I'd like to know something.

Is it normal for me to have a sensation like burning when I finger myself ? That happens during insertion and during back and forth moves. And it disappears few minutes after masturbation. That is just really weird because I don't think it is an infection going on (since it disappear and I don't have any discharge) or anything like that but yet I still have this burning sensation which is bothering a little. I just want to make sure this is normal and this isn't a sign of a infection or something like that.

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Heather
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Are you inserting dry fingers, and/or inserting them before you're very aroused?

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cool87
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I'm usually aroused.

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Heather
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Usually doesn't help me much.

If you are VERY aroused (and engaged the rest of your vulva well first) before inserting fingers and also USING a lubricant when you do that, I'd say to look into the burning.

But if BOTH are not at play, then it is likely because of one or both of those factors.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cool87
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Well one thing that is sure is that when I am really well aroused, there is sort of this burning/pain sensation during entry/getting out that is always there.

It is more at the entry than inside my vagina.

[ 11-27-2006, 06:32 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Heather
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Okay, you still aren't answering me about lubricant, and if you're using it at all and reapplying it as needed? It's making this thread a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

Too, remember that a lot of the time, the vagina just isn't where the action happens for women, and what your bodies like most, are respond to most, is more general vulval stimulus and clitoral stimulus. So, if I suspect, you're doing the vaginal entry in part to try and wear away some of your residul hymen or "get used to" vaginal entry, you're probably not listening to what your body actually wants.

Mind, that may not be the case, but if you're doing insertion for any other reason besides that it feels really great, there's really no need, and if it doesn't feel great, it'll buzzkill your arousal and sexual response to some degree, and that -- as well as lack of proper lubrication -- may be why you're feeling discomfort.

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cool87
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Yeah for your lubricant question, I do use it and I reapply it when needed.

I tought that by doing it a few times, then it would start to feel better because my hymen will be stretched out a little more. But I guess that doesn't work like that. One finger can't stretch it. It does feel great when it's in but like I said when there's movement or anything that moves that hymen that doesn't feel so great. There's some sort of a sharp pain or burning feeling in those times.

And I really know I shouldn't be concerned about that, I know, but I am concerned about intercourse with that hymen even though it's not supposed to hurt that much. I can't even insert two fingers right now or I really feel it will tear, not stretch but tear, I already tried it and I stopped since it hurt and I did get the feeling it was gonna tear. I shouldn't worry I know we're really not there yet but it is really supposed to stretch not tear right if we go slowly during intercourse ?

And I know that vaginal sex is not supposed to be great for most women but why is there that much sex toys and all if most of the time only clitoral stimulation is satisfying for most women ? Why not just do clitoral stimulation ?

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Heather
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quote:
Why not just do clitoral stimulation ?
Well, when it comes to this question, that's my question precisely. If that is what feels good to you -- now, or period -- then there is absolutely no reason why that is NOT what you should just do.

(Do understand, though, that the external clitoris is only part of the story, which is a big part of why, for plenty of women, vaginal entry IS enjoyable, even if it isn't all by itself, with nothing else at play. But it's enjoyable for no one when it is this obsessed do-or-die pursuit.)

Look, masturbation is for YOU. It's for making you feel good. Period, end of story. Masturbation is not praciticing one's cello because a recital is coming up, it's playing it because you love making music, understand?

You're not masturbating if you're sitting there trying to prep yourself for someone else at some later date, or to make some sort of sex work for you at some time. And with you STILL overthinking all this to death, no matter what the heck you do, it's likely not going to feel good if and when you get to intercourse because you're going to come to it clinical and anxious.

This post was about you masturbating, right?

So, sugar, look: when you masturbate, DO that. Do what feels good to you, for you, in that moment. Period. Don't sit there trying to prep your body for something down the road or be there all stressed out about what can and can't fit inside your vagina. It's senseless on both counts: for the later stuff and for the now stuff.

And if you don't want to masturbate just for you, you don't feel any real desire to, then you don't have to do that (or have sex with anyone else), either.

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cool87
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Well that makes sense. You always seem to have the right words Heather.

I just felt like this hymenal tissu is an handicap that's all but I guess some other women through the same thing also. And sometimes my friends have dildo and things like that and sometimes they do talk about it, how great it is and that's weird since I am not even able to try one right now. But there's really no pressure or anything in having vaginal sex, that just my curiosity taking over I guess which I don't think it's wrong but might not be the best moment right now.

But, once this hymen is all stretched out, things will likely feel better right ? It might take time but it will ?

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Heather
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I'm going to be as frank as I can, and I do not intend to be hurtful.

But I don't want to talk about your hymen anymore, or about your hypotheticals anymore. Some of that is just that I'm not sure I've ever even talked about my own hymen anything close to this much (heck, I don't remember ever talking about it at all and given, I didn't have a hymen issue, but still), but the larger issue is that, as I have said a lot at this point, I profoundly feel that your overthinking all of this, your hyperfocus on this and normalcy and the lot are what your obstacles are to enjoying your sexuality, not a hymenal band (which really, in and of itself should not be causing big discomfort, and probably isn't causing it as much as all this stress is).

Okay? If you are convinced -- and I'm really not -- that this is ONLY about hymenal issues, then talk to your gynecologist some more who can actually see what the what is. But otherwise? It just feels like this is the new thing for you to latch onto as to why everything's not just right, when the biggest single thing that has never changed, and been there from the beginning, are the sorts of issues I've been deparately trying to address with you.

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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cool87
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which are me overthinking some parts of sex right ?

I am going to stick to what feels good for me now. There's really no obstacles that keep me from enjoying myself sexually from other things other than the vaginal sex thing most of the time, not at all. I am big time able to, so I should stick with that and not try to find another way of reaching the same things I get now or reaching even higher orgasms or something like that. Because when comes vaginal sex, I do know and recognize that I'm overthinking sex too much. I should in that case, try to stop thinking too much and worrying too about things like pain and try to enjoy myself instead.

My hymen (last time I say that word !) does have something to do with what I experience I know I don't imagine that but you're right in saying that some other issues might come into play.

[ 11-27-2006, 07:54 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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