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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » sex toys and over-stimulation

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Author Topic: sex toys and over-stimulation
NorCal
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Hi all!

I recently heard something about women using vibrators too much and then being unable or having a much harder time orgasming when they are given oral sex. Could it be that by using a high powered vibrator - able to vibrate at such high speeds which no man could replicate - that she would then have a harder time having an orgasm without it? I have looked everywhere for this information and am unable to find it.

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Heather
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This is myth and propaganda.

There are women who ride motorcycles all day and who orgasm just fine. And you can't find any vibe with that much juice, believe me.

Any of us can get accustomed to ANY kind of stimulus, be it a vibrator, the way we or a partner use their fingers (and men and women alike can move their fingers that quickly), even intercourse. If we engage in the same stimulus to reach orgasm again and again and again, we can get into a sort of habit that teaches our body to expect orgasm from X or Y stimulus, which *can* make it harder for some, sometimes, to reach orgasm differently.

But this is no more the case with vibes than anything else, and if you just mix up whatever sorts of sex or masturbation you engage in, shouldn't be an issue.

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NorCal
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Well, that does make sense. Maybe it is more of a conditioning that we do. Getting used to one method and our body being conditioned to react to it.
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Heather
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...if and when it happens at all.

Because for plenty of us, that's not even an issue we've experienced. Heck, when I used to review sex toys and had them coming in en masse it wasn't ever something I personally had an issue with. [Smile]

SO, so much with sex is mind-over-matter, often to a degree that is really quite astounding.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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NorCal
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I think that's just it...it is mind over matter, but somehow some of us have forgotten to make the link. The end result has become the goal of sex. I have met so many people who don't consider their acts sex unless they have reached the end result. It is all about finishing (pardon the pun) and while that is nice, there is so much more that goes along with it that adds to lasting feelings of fulfillment.

I believe my above question stems from what I hear all the time. That there's no point of doing any of it unless it reaches the 'goal' or end result. Maybe that's why our culture doesn't have "make out" sessions anymore....because it always leads to sex. Wow, that's a lot of pressure, and not just for young people...

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katherose
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I read an article once (link long since lost) that said that using a vibrator too much can result in an enlarged and desinsitised clitoris. Is that also propaganda?
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LilBlueSmurf
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It is all about finishing (pardon the pun) and while that is nice, there is so much more that goes along with it that adds to lasting feelings of fulfillment.

Hang onto this! The idea that sex is the all about the end result makes sex SO much more stressful than it has to be, and takes all the fun out of it.

read an article once (link long since lost) that said that using a vibrator too much can result in an enlarged and desinsitised clitoris. Is that also propaganda?

Yup ... Propaganda. All of it.

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NorCal
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That's interesting because there is SOOO much propaganda out there, with regards to women and men.

I was talking to a friend who was telling me about what our culture has done with sex. We are imitating imitation. If you think about it, the porn industry or sex in the movies imitates what they think sex should look like. Then the people who see this imitate the imitators. Rather than create our own sexual fulfillment and discovering our own bodies and what we as individuals like and dislike, we imitate what we "think" it's supposed to be like.

Anyway, with regards to overstimulation of the clitoris, I guess it would be similar to overstimulation of the penis...if it's stimulated too much, will it too grow larger?

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logic_grrl
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Anyway, with regards to overstimulation of the clitoris, I guess it would be similar to overstimulation of the penis...if it's stimulated too much, will it too grow larger?

Nope. No amount of stimulation will cause either the penis or clitoris to grow permanently.

Muscles grow when they're used a lot, but other body parts don't.

Think about it - people who walk a lot don't end up with gigantic feet [Big Grin] .

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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SmileyGuy1974
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by NorCal:
"...Rather than create our own sexual fulfillment and discovering our own bodies and what we as individuals like and dislike, we imitate what we "think" it's supposed to be like."

I was reading this thread and discovered the above quote. Let me congratulate NorCal for posting this thoughtful comment. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Kudos!

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NorCal
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Thanks smiley! I gave you kudos on your Scarlett Johansson thread in the other category. Good on ya!

Also, it's difficult to create emotion -or in my case, sarcasm- out of a keyboard, but I was kidding when I made the penis comment above. I should have said so, but thanks for answering anyway. Good to put some perspective on it.

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Juniata
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So I suppose there have been studies disproving desensitization?

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Heather
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Study on female sexuality separate from male sexuality is still very, very limited.

(Don't even get me started on that.)

But, for instance, I just saw one the other day about biking: small sample group, only about 48 women, but it showed that for contant female bikers not using saddles made for women, there was some genital desensitization. Now.

Not only were these women having a LOT more contact/time spent biking than women spend with vibes, and is that pressure not a LOT more intense (because all your weight is on it: no vibe weighs 130 pounds), but even in THIS case, while it showed some "numbing," they also found that this did not result in any sexual troubles/dysfunction for these women whatsoever.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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