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Author Topic: Drugs and Sex
RubyRed
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I will admit it. My boyfriend is a long term drug abuser/ user. He looks like it but thanks to me he is now cleaning up. I have looked at picture of him since he was in high school. he is 23 now. He has been doing drugs a VERY long time and has used Obsene amounts of them. He says he is sterile from using so many drugs. I guess my question would have to be is how long does it take for a drug user to become sterile? Or How much does it take?
Thanks

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Red

Posts: 12 | From: Kansas | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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Some drugs (like marijuana) can lower someone's sperm count, but they won't permanently sterilize someone.

Unfortunately, we've had a bunch of incidents on the boards with guys claiming to their girlfriends that they're sterile in order to avoid using condoms.

And of course it's also possible for people to be confused, misinterpret things, etc. - especially since heavy drug use often doesn't do great things for people's memory or grip on the facts.

So unless a doctor tells you directly that your boyfriend is completely sterile, I would assume that he isn't.

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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Bebop Bodhisattva
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I'm not a doctor, chemist or pharmacist, but I've never heard of any recreational drug that causes sterility. Tobacco and cannabis can lower your sperm count. Maybe he got some disease through sharing needles that made him sterile. The only other theory I can think of is that he used to inject drugs into his scrotum (lots of blood vessels in that region, and the track marks won't be visible), and accidently pierced something important.

But don't take my word for it. Ask a doctor.

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"This war all around us is being fought over the very meanings of words." - Chad Dumier, Deus Ex

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logic_grrl
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Just to add to this - if he has been injecting drugs, that puts him in an especially high-risk group for a number of diseases, including HIV.

So safer sex is going to be especially important, no matter what the situation is with his fertility.

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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RubyRed
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no injections here. i'm around him alot. him telling me he is sterile doesn't stop us from using condoms. well me anyway. he is a heavy and i mean HEAVY cocaine and crack user along with marijuana! i have already told him he had better think about whats more important. me or drugs. so far hes been sober just a day and a half but that is a start.

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Red

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dailicious
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RubyRed, has your boyfriend looked into any drug rehibilitation programs? Would that be something he would be willing to accept your help to look into?

Almost any serious drug addict is going to have a great deal of difficulty stopping drug use on their own, without the aid of some sort of assistance program, which could and often times does include drug counseling and therapy about remaining clean after he or she has completed the rehibilitation program. And as much as you want to help him with stopping his drug use, and even as serious as he MIGHT be about wanting to quit and wanting to value you and your relationship more than his drug use? Addiction is a seriously powerful, and seriously scary thing, and without some sort of program in place and a way for him to get support in his body coming away from being addicted to crack and cocaine, it's very likely he is not going to stay clean much longer.

If you'd like, as well, we may be able to help search to help you find some resources in your area to get started.

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Jean
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Bebop Bodhisattva
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Adding to the previous post, this is going to be extremely difficult even with a support network. Addiction is an extremely powerful thing and even after he's done with withdrawl (clinically assisted or otherwise) there's going to be a very strong temptation to go back. Even with rehab and a strong support structure, it may take several relapses before he can stay clean for any length of time.

Make sure you're ready for this kind of emotional investment. The best place to be is close enough that he'll tell if he's going to try again. Overdoses are very common during relapses.

In the meantime...
Don't lend him money.
Don't let him borrow anything he can pawn/eBay easily.
Talk every day.

Good luck

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"This war all around us is being fought over the very meanings of words." - Chad Dumier, Deus Ex

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jamma
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i really feel for you ruby. my boyfriend also quit coke once i came into his life, but i dont think the situation was just as extreme as yours sounds. make sure you take care of yourself, dont let his life and issues start to take over your life. Im not sure wether cocaine causes sterility or not because so much mis-information is out there you really cant trust the source because of some agenda they might have. you know?
but cocaine withdraw causes loss of sexual drive in some people. a site i trust for info is www.erowid.org im not promoting drugs just good information.

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Bebop Bodhisattva
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quote:
Originally posted by RubyRed:
i have already told him he had better think about whats more important. me or drugs.

Just noticed this part. Your heart's in the right place, and tough love will absolutely be necessary. But ultimatums tend not to work well on junkies. They'll usually pick their drugs over most anything. Or just lie.

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"This war all around us is being fought over the very meanings of words." - Chad Dumier, Deus Ex

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TAB
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I dated a drug user for 3 years who got me into it for 2 of those (clean now for 2 years). Let me save you the headache and heartache of taking on responsiblity for their addiction:

He won't stop for you. Giving him an ultimatum won't stop his addiction. It will only serve to make you and him feel all the worse if/when he relapses. He has to stop for himself.

You are not responsible for his life. He is.

Posts: 68 | From: right...behind...you... | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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