Am i a whore or am i messed up on the inside i sleep with guys and i really dont know them i mean i am highly flirtatous and i just dont get it i use condems and i have never had an STD but it gets me i was sexually abused when i was younger did that do it i mean i dont know i dont what to play the blame game but its hard. I dont enjoy sex yet i have it. I lost my virginity when i was 12 is this slutty or is this somthing deeper-suze
Posts: 12 | From: NY,NY | Registered: Sep 2006
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okay, stop beating yourself up, and stop claling yourself hateful names. That's NOT ok here at ST.
key phrase here: i was sexually abused when i was younger
a lot of abuse victims act out sexually and engage in self-destructive behavior. you have described this phenomenon to a T. Does this make oyu a bad person? No. But it does mean you NEED to get professional help. See a therapist to help you get through your molestation issues. A theraist can help teach you how to engage in healthy emotional and physical relationships.
Another key phrase: I dont enjoy sex yet i have it.
If ever you had hang-ups before, having sex when you don't find it enjoyable is a sure-fire way to develop more sexual hang-ups for the future, and they're gonna be pretty difficult to let go. You need to realize, sex does NOT equal intimacy or genuine affection and love. It is sex. Good sex can include intimacy, love and affection, and that's what most people aspire for. But what you are doing now by having sex when it doesn't make you feel good is just self-destructive.
Condoms are a good thing, and big props to you for using them. I hope you always stay up to date with your STD screenings. Get tested every 6 months.
But really, given what you have described, you are way better off abstaining from all sexual activity until you can get some therapy to help you resolve past abuse issues.
Having casual sex isn't slutty by any stretch. Whatever level of sexual activity you're comfortable with and enjoy is fine.
But you don't seem comfortable with it, and you say don't enjoy it. I agree with Gumdrop Girl; you need to figure out why you do this, but don't think that it makes you a "whore" or anything else.
Posts: 70 | From: place | Registered: Jul 2006
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