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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Female Ejaculation = Orgasm Frustration

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Author Topic: Female Ejaculation = Orgasm Frustration
AudreyHepburnWannabe
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Hey everybody,

I've been learning more about myself sexually ever since I started dating my boyfriend of around 6 months. He was my first kiss, and I his, and after a few months of dating, I felt comfortable enough with myself sexually to try masturbating (which I had never done before - I'd always regarded it as shameful or wrong).

However, when I masturbate (or even when my boyfriend touches me down there), things feel nice, but whenever things really start to get good, I feel like I have to pee. I've tried twice to continue masturbating even after I felt this sensation and both times, a very large amount of liquid came out.

Now, I've searched this on your site, and I'm pretty sure that what I'm experiencing is female ejaculation. The descriptions that have been given of it sound exactly like the fluid that is coming out of me - a large amount of watery, clear, and pretty much odorless fluid. (Although one time it did smell faintly of urine). I have heard enough about it to know that this is not uncommon and, although it is kind of a hassle, it's relatively normal.

But the problem is, I have never orgasmed because every time I get close to one, this fluid comes out and I automatically stop touching myself because I think I am urinating. And then I have to go clean up. (Bummer.)

It really is beginning to bother me - not because I feel deadset on having an orgasm or anything, but because I get so turned on and then there is never any release of the sexual energy. It feels like I have been turned on constantly for the last 3 months, and I am really craving a release.

Has this happened to anyone before? What can I do about it?

Thanks guys,
Audrey

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DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
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You're quite right: this is normal, and happens to a lot of women. If you want your orgasm, really, you'll have to understand that the liquid is just one of many that your body produces and keep going. Sex is messy. [Smile]

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thathollygirl
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Try sitting/lying on some towels. It's going to happen anyway, might as well make the cleanup easier. [Wink]
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Caitlain
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Make sure you do go and pee before you masturbate, that way you don't have to worry about actually peeing when you do it. And, as ^^^ suggested, use some towels. ;-)

Just keep riding that feeling as it builds and you should end up with a powerful orgasm.

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deviant_queer
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My partner ejaculates. She can ejaculate either by her own hand or with my stimulating her.

Firstly, towels are OK but, oddly enough, what we found works best is just to have a little bowl nearby. It was beginning to become a hassle when we'd have to wash the sheets, eggshell mattress cover, or the mattress itself so once when all the towels were dirty I just grabbed a bowl and supported her weight while she ejaculated into the bowl and that's what we've been doing ever since.

Second, if you boyfriend is comfortable with it, what might help is to have him stimulating you so that even during your ejaculation, it is not you who is in control of stopping yourself because you think you're peeing. Does that make sense?

Finally, there is a good resourced from goodvibes.com. It's a book called "The G Spot" or something like that - it's all about the G Spot and female ejaculation. I read it and really recommend it not only for yourself but for your partner (and any future partners).

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sarac535
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Speaking personally, I find that this liquid isn't much of a hassle...

It is odorless, clear, isn't sticky or particularly problematic in any way; it doesn't stain or mess anything up.

My boyfriend really gets into things when it happens, he tells me that it lets him know he is "doing something right", and really turns him on... we find that very little cleanup is even required since it evaporates *extremely* quickly.

My advice to you would simply be to continue whatever you are doing when it happens, and not worry about it until you are done.

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AudreyHepburnWannabe
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Thanks, everybody!
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LadyGrelka
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I have a similar problem the only real difference is mine dose have a small. I would talk to my DR about it but I am a bit modest for that so this seems like a good place. I have made sure to go to the bathroom before being intament with my husband but when I orgasm it still seems like I am urinating with the smell and a very light color. I am not sure what I can do about this if anything. Just looking for some advice.

[ 09-25-2006, 03:32 AM: Message edited by: LadyGrelka ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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If you've urinated beforehand, you're not urinating.

Like male ejaculate, female ejaculate comes through the same channel your urine does, so it's not abnormal for it to smell slightly of urine sometimes, or to have a light yellow tinge.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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LadyGrelka
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The problem is the smell is not slight like the color (sorry I think I did not make that part very clear in my last post). It smells just like it normally dose. That is why I am a bit worried and wondering if anyone else has the same problem. I know its not a bladder infection or a yest infection because I just got checked right after having my son and this has been going on since well the beginning. I am just surprised because I did not know my bladder could hold that much (if in fact it is urine) being that I try to go before hand and sometimes I even get up to go during. I am too the point where I don't even want to really do things anymore because I can't stand the small and extracting my mattress just dose not work.
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Heather
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Did you ask your doctor about it, though? If not, I'd really suggest that you do if you're that cioncerned about it.

It can be really hard for a doctor to know what to look at if they don't know there is an issue at hand.

Again, if you're urinating ahead of time, it's not urine and it's not fluid in your bladder. However, if you're conveinced it can't possibly be ejaculate, then again, talk to your doctor and make sure something else isn't at play here.

If you need a benign way of saying ti to feel less embarassed, you can try something like, "I am concerned, because during sex with my partner (unless this is also happening with masturbation, in which case, "sex" will suffice), I appear to be expelling a lot of fluid from my body and I'm not sure that's normal."

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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frey
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if you stop when this happens because of the mess it makes, try doing it somewhere that you can let loose and not worry about cleanup until you are done, such as in the bath tub or shower. If anyone else uses that shower other than yourself, make sure to thoroughly clean up afterwards.
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