Helloz. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, who I met on the internet. We just started to have phone sex and I love it, but I don't reach orgasm, and I don't even know what makes me orgasm anyway...and I explained this to him. I make him orgasm quick and I enjoy satisfying him, but he feels bad that I don't orgasm while we have phone sex. Now I feel really bad. I really really enjoy making him feel good and that's really enough for me but I he wants to feel the same way about me. What should I do?
It's really not fair to yourself for you to not only not orgasm, but then to feel bad about not having an orgasm. Your body works the way it does, and your boyfriend needs to understand that. Maybe you should explain that to him. Explain that it takes longer, or it's not that important to you or whatever.
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Yes, it is possible to orgasm without actually touching yourself. You touched on the major point, cool. The brain is the big player in sexual response, and getting your brain stimulated can result in orgasm.
Are you able to orgasm from masturbation alone?
If you can, than there is no reason that you shouldn't be able to during phone sex. If your partner is interested in you gaining pleasure from the experience as well, he should help by talking to you and give you enough time to get aroused and orgasm.
If you can't, than it's a very different issue, but no less resolvable. Masturbation is a skill, just like sex, and most other things in life. If you haven't been taught or read about it, or spent some time alone just trying to figure it out, it's quite possible for a person simply not to know exactly how. This may be a case where ignorance is not bliss. If you want to learn about it, read about it online, in books, talk to your friends, partner.
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