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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sex help

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Author Topic: Sex help
lfc4life
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Me and my girlfriend decided to have sex yesterday for the first time for both of us the problem was that i couldnt get my penis to enter the vagina and I am now worried do you have to force the penis in or what I have a normal size penis 6.5 inches long

Plz help thanks Barry

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likewhoa19
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NO, whatever you do don't force because forcing isn't necessary and it hurts. The thing to do is make sure she's really relaxed ahead of time, and go slow. If she's still got a partially intact hymen at the front of her vaginal opening, that could be one reason it's tight. Hymen's will naturally stretch or erode away slowly, but may stretch and cause some pain in first-time sex. If she's relaxed enough, her vagina itself should stretch to let in your penis without much pain and discomfort. If she's not relaxed than the vagina will be narrow. Make sure she feels comfortable about having sex, then make sure you do plenty of foreplay so she's physically relaxed enough. If it seems like it won't work out -do something else instead, then try again for penetration some other time. It's really important that you go slowly rather than quickly, and make sure she's comfortable.

[ 04-20-2006, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: likewhoa19 ]

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Natasha89
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Im not sure i can post here but ill have a go.
Dont force it in. Are you making sure she is fully aroused? If not engage more into foreplay and use plenty of water based lube.
If you try to force your penis into her it will hurt even more. Is she also relaxed? Communication is also needed. It doesnt matter on the size its wether you are both relaxed and ready and again fully aroused.

oops was beaten to it, its pretty much all in the post above [Smile]

[ 04-20-2006, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Natasha89 ]

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Behind every great man is a great woman

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lfc4life
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Thanks will do more foreplay and go slower next time. Does anyone else have anymore advise for me.
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logic_grrl
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Yup, we have a really handy article on this very topic:

First Intercourse 101

If pain is a problem, check out this other handy article too:

From OW! to Wow: Identify the causes of Painful Vaginal Sex and Kick the Pain to the Curb

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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lfc4life
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Also could this be the problem when i put on the comdom I never Put on a few drops of water-based lube (like Astroglide or Liquid Silk) inside the tip of the condom. I dont even know what that stuff is
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logic_grrl
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Not using lube could definitely be part of the problem.

As well as putting a tiny bit inside the condom (for your benefit), putting lots of lube on the outside on the condom will make intercourse much easier and much more comfortable.

You can probably buy lube in any big chemist's (look in the "family planning section"). If not, you can order it online, or try the Irish Family Planning Association:

http://www.ifpa.ie/index.php

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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lfc4life
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what other thing would work. Would putting vaseline work

Also can u buy comdoms wit lure already in them

[ 04-20-2006, 03:20 PM: Message edited by: Barrydoherty54 ]

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origami_jane
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You can buy condoms with lube already on them, but it's not really enough.

Plus vaseline will cause condoms to deteriorate. (We did a simulation in Sex Ed. where we put a condom on one hand, vaseline on the other, and rubbed them together. Took less than a minute for the condom to fall apart.)

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logic_grrl
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Nope, vaseline would be a very bad idea, as it can literally dissolve the latex in condoms.

You can buy condoms that say they have lube on them, but it's only a tiny amount, not enough.

So really, it's a good idea to buy a proper lube like KY Jelly.

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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daria319
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Do not use vaseline. It is not safe for vaginal intercourse.

You can buy condoms that claim to have lube in them, but its best to use extra water-based lube with any type of condom.

[Mindmeld!]

[ 04-20-2006, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: daria319 ]

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lfc4life
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Ok thanks for all that. Just would like to know when you go the chemist will a packet say Lure on it or will it say something else and is KY Jelly avaliable in chemist. Now all I have to do is go into the chemist and get both the comdoms and lure and not look embarrassed
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logic_grrl
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The bottle or packet will usually say something "lubricant", and you want to look for one that says "water-based" or "condom-safe".

KY Jelly is a very widely available lube, but since I don't know your local chemist's, I can't give you a guarantee:).

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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lfc4life
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Was chatting to my girlfriend there now and she said I think the problem was that I wasnt wet enought wat does this mean.

Thanks Barry

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logic_grrl
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The vagina produces extra lubrication of its own when a woman is aroused - i.e. it gets wet.

If your girlfriend wasn't fully aroused, that would definitely make intercourse much more difficult and uncomfortable.

Even if she was, extra lubricant can still be a big help - women's bodies don't always produce enough lubrication of their own. That's why everyone here has been recommending extra lube.

Some more reading material for you:

Sexual Response and Orgasm: A User's Guide

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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