I have a question about hiv. I am a very paranoid person in general. I am always the one who thinks that i may have cancer or something if i have a zit under the skin that looks like a lump.
Anyway, in the past I have been in two relationships alltogether and they were both sexual. My first partner was my exfiance and we were together 4 yrs. He swears he never cheated on me but he left me two years ago. His reasoning for leaving was because he didnt love me anymore and suddenly he was gay, or so he says. (i think he said it as an excuse to get out of the relationship quick)
I now have a live in boyfriend/fiance that I have been with for 1 and a half years. He has been tested in the past three times in a row for std's and he has come up negative everytime. I love him very much and we plan to marry soon. I would be distraught if I found that I ever hurt him or give him something.
I have never had signs of any stds and in the past have been tested for gonerreah, chlymida and hpv, all were negative.
I have been recently worrying constantly about hiv and me maybe having it. I am worried because my ex said he was gay. I know that doesnt mean he cheated (he was a virgin when we met)... I saw a movie rencently that was about a person that found they had hiv. It really scared me cuz i started to think about it...what if he cheated, what if he was gay..ect?
What is the risk of me having gotten hiv from him? I have only been with two people and never have done drugs..my ex or my current bf never did drugs either.
I am just a normally hypocondriac person, I dont know why but it is really scareing me about this hiv thing. In the back of my mind I know I am over reacting because in my heart I dont think he cheated and I have not led a risky lifestyle.
I have ordered the home access hiv home test kit that is approved by the fda and planned parenthood and will send it in when i get it in the mail. I am just very afraid and wanted some opinions.
I love my boyfriend/fiance and would be devistated if i gave it something. I just felt i needed to know my status though i think i'm hiv negative. I needed to know before i get married and have kids.
what is your opinion on this? I am so scared and I think i'm really overworking and stressing myself out too much.