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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » another painful intercourse issue...

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Author Topic: another painful intercourse issue...
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Neophyte
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I've been having issues with vaginal penetration, and I just thought I was really weird. However, I happened across this site and found the article on the front page, and it was very helpful. I'm 19 years old and have been having normal, albeit irregular menstrual cycles since I was about 13 or 14. I started having vaginal intercourse last year, but before this, I was able to orgasm through other means, mainly manual, with my boyfriend of about 4 months at the time. I have always been extremely sensitive in my sex organs (nipples, clitoris, etc), and it took me years before i was able to use a tampon. I have little to no trouble with them now. Back to the intercourse, we always used a condom, and it hurt pretty badly, but I was always extremely aroused, and it usually wasn't even able to fully go in. However, it was satisfying for both of us, and minimally painful for me. Now that we have broken up, I have found a new sex partner, and the other night we tried to have vaginal intercourse without a condom. I wasn't nearly as aroused as I had been with the other partner, and I must say I was somewhat uncomfortable. However, I don't think I should have been in that much pain. I tried as hard as I could, and we used lubrication, but it just would not enter, not even the head of the penis. It was incredibly painful, but I wasn't sore the next day. Based on the article, vaginismus sounds like it could be the culprit, as I was brought up on a cocktail of bad information on sex, and I suppose I still have somewhat of a negative view on it, but I'm working on it. I have been tested for STD's, but I've never been to a gynecologist. That's my next step, but I was wondering if anyone had any more information or advice. Thank you very much, sorry if it was too long!
Posts: 17 | From: Clemson, SC USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, if you had a full screening for all STIs, then you've also had a pap smear/GYN exam. if you did NOT have those done, then you have not had an STI screening. If that's the case, then yeah, that's the place to start.

if you DID have those things done without a lot of discomfort or any problems with the exam, vaginismus likely isn't the issue, since speculum use tends to elicit the same physical reaction -- a clenching up of the vagina -- as intercourse does.

Obviously, if you have not had these exams, this is a smart place to start.

In the interim, STOP having intercourse when you're not BIG TIME aroused. if you don't feel REALLY into sex with a partner, just hold off, on any form of sex -- or altogether -- you're just not incredibly interested in.

But other than that, let's start with that exam: so, did you have one or not? if so, any problems during?


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Neophyte
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I had a blood test and such, but not a pap smear...I didn't realize you needed a gynocological exam for a full STI test...so that really is the place to start then...I'm nearly positive I can rule out STD's/STI's as the culprit, since my first sexual partner has never had another sexual partner (no partner of any kind, for that matter), and this potential partner has been tested, and I've had no sexual partners other than these.

I'm not planning on trying any more intercourse I'm not fully interested in, as this was, I just found it odd that it was so impossible. Also, I don't know what it would have to do this the muscles, because I mentioned that to him, and he said he wasn't even feeling anything while I was in all that pain and trying so hard. I definitely just need to get a gyn exam, and relax and wait for the right time. Thanks!

[This message has been edited by production error (edited 01-02-2006).]


Posts: 17 | From: Clemson, SC USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Humor_Me
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i think the main reason why your partner's schlong cannot penetrate yours is that, you are not well lubricated, or fully aroused , in that case. Maybe while doing it, you have so much worries in your mind. That could be one factor. You have to free your mind with worries and just enjoy what's happening. Maybe, your partner, didnt do his part lubricating you with cunnilingus. This trick has been tried and tested to make a woman all wet inside,sometimes that alone can make you come, which is much better,because when its time to penetrate you, you will be real wet.and you wont feel any pain anymore,just pleasure.
Posts: 8 | From: Manila,Philippines | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Neophyte
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Interestingly enough, he tried that very thing (cunnilingus). Didn't work. I know I need to relax and enjoy the experience and such, but I really think I have a thing about doing it in my parents' house (when I'm up at school, it's not as much of an issue). I know, I really need to talk it over with my parents, but I just can't, not now. I don't have such a good relationship with them, and I'm working on that too. I really want to tell them, but I just can't. I barely even live there anymore, so it's not that much of an issue...anyway, thanks!
Posts: 17 | From: Clemson, SC USA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Well, it's false to inply every woman enjoys cunnilingus. Not all do.

On top of that, slaiva and natural vaginal lubrication ooften still ins't enough -- and it's long-lasting enough -- when condoms are being used.

But yeah: you haven't had an STI screen , given what you said here. Sounds like you had an HIV test, and that's all. So, regardless, go ahead and take care of that, and be sure to ask for a full screen, as well as asking about this issue. Even if the problem is NOT physical, you need to do that every year anyway.


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wobblyheadedjane
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quote:
Originally posted by production error:
I had a blood test and such, but not a pap smear...I didn't realize you needed a gynocological exam for a full STI test...so that really is the place to start then...I'm nearly positive I can rule out STD's/STI's as the culprit, since my first sexual partner has never had another sexual partner (no partner of any kind, for that matter), and this potential partner has been tested, and I've had no sexual partners other than these.

Just for the record, some STD/STIs like Herpes can be spread non-sexually - herpes simplex 1, or cold sores, can be picked up from something as simple as kissing a relative or sharing a drink with an infected friend. So, it's really best to be safe than sorry, in this case.


Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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