We won't be of a ton of help. In fact, we can't really be of any. A) We cannot give technical advice. I'm positive you know this, since you've been around the boards long enough.
B) You are an individual. Therefore, your body functions differently than others. Quite frankly, it's a waste of time to wish you could come "like others"...because it's not going to happen. You are a unique person with unique wiring, and your body will respond to things others won't, and visa verca. So saying you want to orgasm by rubbing your clitoris like others is like saying you want your Honda wagon to be a Ford truck. It just won't happen unless you get a totally new car, or have a totally different body.
So, here's what I suggest: don't get annoyed. There are plenty of ways to pleasure yourself, you just have to take the time and patience to look for them. Experiment, play around with positions, toys, etc, and maybe you'll find that your body will respond differently.
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