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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Masturbation, sexuality, argh. WTF mate?

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Author Topic: Masturbation, sexuality, argh. WTF mate?
Member # 26184

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I'm extremely uncomfortable with my sexuality(not orientation, but sexuality in general) right now, and this is mostly because I don't feel like I have any positive outlet for it. I am not sexually active, nor do I plan on becoming so, and so the role of venting sexuality falls to masturbation. The problem I have is that I donít enjoy masturbation at all. I climax too quickly, and afterwards I feel almost nothing but regret. I know there are methods to postpone climax, but these seem counterproductive to the very nature of masturbation. It makes me feel like Iím fighting the very sexual urges that Iím trying to appease. So every time I do become aroused by something, I feel slightly forlorn, as I know that the eventual result of that arousal wonít satisfy me like my body would have me think. On top of this, everything I read about orgasms(alone or during sexual activity) makes them seem so enjoyable, special, and personal, which leaves me feeling like Iím missing out on something.

Iím open to advice from staff members, but Iím also hoping to hear from other teens that feel the same way or donít feel the same way. Any thoughts are welcome.

Posts: 13 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26167

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I dont think there is anythign wrong with that, iw ish that would happen to me...i dont climax or moan or scream or anything quite embarrasing!i would switch places with you anyday
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Well, not everyone thinks orgasm is the be-all end-all. In fact, quite a lot of people prefer everything leading up TO orgasm.

What I might suggest is making even masturbation more whole body and less genital, so you DO have more time to enjoy the whole process.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26191

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I use to feel the same way about masturbating....I would have an orgasm and it would super good but when I come down from it i would feel dirty and guilty....but that is probably because I was raised to believe that the genitals were the "forbidden, dirty place"
Posts: 9 | From: Youngstown, OH | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 24833

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Maybe try becoming more comfortable with your sexuality. I guess that's part of the point of masturbation, but try it in different ways. I used to be pretty uncomfortable with my sexuality, but I tried standing in front of the mirror naked (sounds kinda weird, I know... got the idea from a magazine) and after seeing myself naked, I became much more comfortable with myself, sexuality and all. So maybe something a little more simple will help. Also, try massaging other parts of your body like your calves or feet before masturbation. Just a few suggestions.

[This message has been edited by OMega (edited 11-17-2005).]

Posts: 12 | From: Omaha, Nebraska, USA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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