I love my boyfriend very much, and i waited to have sex to do it the right way. We've been having sex for the past 6 monthes... not like everyday... actually pretty rarely... It finally stopped hurting... but now it doesn't feel good at all... I'm really turned on until we actually do the act. I can feel him, but it doesn't feel good. and I just wait till he'z done... It's really disappointing for both of us.
He can totally get me off orally, but sex just does NOTHING! what can we do? i want sex to be amazing.
Do you use extra lubrication? Are you aroused and in the mood for intercourse before you have it? Inhibitions have a lot to do with sex. After all, intercourse is VERY much a mental thing, just as much as a physical, and not wanting it or being afraid can ruin it completely.
So, the point is, if you have any inhibitions about intercourse, stop. Don't just let him finish up; it isn't fair to you and is only reinforcing the idea that sex doesn't or can't feel good. It's good to keep in mind that not all ladies get a hoot out of intercourse. If oral sex is your thing, that is good to know. Try some different positions, experiment with stimlution. Also remember that part of intercourse is enjoying your partner's pleasure, even if you are not experiencing it at the same level.
[This message has been edited by JamsessionVT (edited 11-11-2005).]
...and STOP just lying there and "waiting for him to be done."
If something isn't enjoyable for you, communicate that, and either find a way between you that IS enjoyable -- like, perhaps, adding manual stimulation or mutual masturbation during intercourse, or being in a position where *you* can control the movement more -- or just don't do it.
Just because one partner likes a given sexual activity doesn't mean another who doesn't enjoy it at all, is obligated to do it. Moreover, having any sort of sex out of obligation sets you both up for a really unsatisfying, negative sexual relationship.
Intercourse is NOT everyone's favorite thing, and expecting it to be is likely to lead to disappointment, because that's just reality. For most couples, having intercourse be one of MANY different activities, even in a given session, for it to be the appetizer or dessert, rather than the whole meal, tends to work a lot better than expecting this one thing to take care of everybody's proverbial business.
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