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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » question??

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Author Topic: question??
Member # 26004

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ok so me and my girlfriend have been going out for awhile, we havent had sex, we were going to but both decided we felt we should wait because we werent ready yet. well we have done other sexual acts. i have two questions about our other acts....first off she attempted to give me oral sex twice. but when she does it for some reason i dont feel anything, i mean alittle saliva but i dont even feel her mouth?? and i end up not ejaculating till afterwards when i have to release my "tension". is there something wrong with me o something different to try. i understand its about the experience and time etc. but when we have sex i dont want this to happen... next, i have read in many places that before the first time you have vaginal intercourse it is recommended to finger her, and "pop her cherry" there. well i have fingered her many times, not really hard with the intent of doing that, but there hasnt been any blood of the such. will i just have to wait until vaginal intercourse for this? or is there something else i can do?
Posts: 7 | From: manahawkin | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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You're wise to wait for intercourse if you feel you're not ready. So many young adults rush into it knowing they're not ready, but choose to do it anyway ...

Oral sex isn't for everyone. Partnered sex is a 'whole different ballgame', and it can take a while to get used to and into. If you find there's something your partner could improve to make it better for you, suggest it. Talk about it.

A lot of people find that the first time they have intercourse it isn't what they expected. Not every man ejaculates the first time they have intercourse and many many women don't orgasm their first time either. This is normal, and nothing to be embarassed about. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen ... Not much you can do to prevent, so you may as well accept it.

As for the 'cherry' ... There is no cherry. I believe you're refering to the hymen. The hymen erodes over time, and not every woman will bleed the first time they have manual sex ('fingering') or intercourse.

You can learn more about the hymen and what to expect from first time intercourse here;

Magical Cups & Bloody Brides
Ready or Not? The Readiness Checklist
First Intercourse 101
Is that all there is? A memoir of first time sex 17 years in the making

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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