I do somewhat heirarchize sexual activities in terms of intimacy, based largely on the body parts involved, and I would definitely consider anal and vaginal intercourse to be much more intimate than any kind of oral stimulation, and certainly more than manual stimulation. In terms of your relationship, I'd say don't worry about categorizing activities as "sex" or "not really sex," but think more specifically about what you are willing to do and what you aren't. There are numerous "checklists" of sexual activities elsewhere on the web that I sometimes helpful for this, but they are probably too explicit to post here. I hope that was helpful !

As to pubic hair, I personally don't really care, but I know a lot of guys do, so really you should ask your partner (I'm sure plenty of other people here will lecture you about how you shouldn't shave it if you don't want to, so I won't, and I have a feeling this is more what you were looking for). I know one guy from camp who broke up with his girlfriend because she didn't shave her pubic hair, and then he complained about her being "shallow". We got a good laugh out of that one!

------------------
- PERVasive

PERvasive gave a very good rundown on the pubic hair thing. Basically, do what's right for you.

In the mean time, check out these articles. They'll be of great help.