i have RARELY successfully masturbated - successfully meaning, having it feel good. i have no privacy in my house - my parents like to come in my room at random unsuspecting moments (i've had a few horrible close calls where i felt sooo ashamed and embarrassed, they didnt see anything though), and really theres no where else private i can go. one time i figured i'd do it before my mom got home BUT THEN i heard her come in the front door right when i was starting to enjoy it and all the fun ended. (every time she comes in the house she always comes up to my room and asks me some stupid question or something. grrr so annoying.)
so now, i am afraid to masturbate, and when i try to do it it's not fun at all - i start and then almost immediately i get afraid that someone will catch me, and then it's pointless cause i get totally turned off.
FURTHERmore. i am also sort of ashamed of masturbation, though its getting better now. i guess i have been taught or something that sexuality is wrong and should be hidden. in my town there is a big stigma that you aren't supposed to talk about anything sex-related and that masturbation is wrong and embarrassing. yah immature attitude, i know that now. but meanwhile, my mom still thinks im a child and won't talk about anything sex-related in front of me, watch movies with me that have any sexual content, etc. once i was joking around with her about something, and she got all suspicious and mean looking and said YOU BETTER not be sexually active!!! wow what a terrible thing to say. in fact i am sexually active but i have no intention of telling her now!!!!!
so my question to you all is... how can i stop being ashamed of masturbation? how can i get it to feel good/be worthwhile, even in the few seconds of privacy that i get?
Unfortunately, your environment does have a lot of influence on how you may view certain sexual practices.
But you are not your town. Masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing. Adults do it, teens do it, 2nd graders do it, toddlers do it. It is even thought that fetus' in the womb do it (though w/o the sexual nature that we have out in the air)
Perhaps you could ask your parents to in general give you some additional privacy? If your parents start being suspicious because you are asking for privacy, then you may have to fight them a bit to get some independence. Based on my own personal experience, I have always held that the person with the real power over any teenager's life is the teen. If you really want the privacy, you can get it, though possibly at the temporary sacrifice of some houshold tranquility.
Good luck and happy masturbating !
------------------ - PERVasive
"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain
I have a boyfriend who's in the same boat as far as privacy - his mom gives him none. As a suggestion, and since it's fairly safe to assume you shower by yourself, he does it in the shower. Or after everyone else has gone to bed. I don't know if this would make you worry less - but I know he doesn't and allows himself to enjoy it.
Aaand, as everyone else has said and will say, masturbating is normal and healthy, and whether or not everyone in your town talks about it, everyone in your town probobly does it. I'm betting that puts a wonderful mental picture in your head.. hehe.
Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.