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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » sex & mum

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Author Topic: sex & mum
Member # 23008

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i was chatting to my mum, who doesnt know about my boyfriend changing his mind about sex. Quote 'i dont believe in pre-marrital sex'. that was about 4 months ago. so a few months later he finally say oh yeah i take taht back. shocked, he was asking me to have sex with him, saying no, he then said he respected my decision. Anyway a couple of days ago he said ' giv me somthing to look forward to on our 18th' being that they are 3 weeks apart, besides the point... I kinda just let that slide and told him the next day that wasnt very nice to say, he repsonded with ' i was joking' i dont think he was though. i just told him that i will not plan when it happens, where and that it may happen later or earlier than that anyway, he just has to wait.

Umm yeah i was thinking (thats a first..jks) that i would talk to my mum, not directly about me and him as she wouldnt kill me but sex in general. i asked her if i could go on the pill, answer was no. im gonna move in with my bf mum, she said dont go and have sex plase, i said oh mum in not going to yet, bad choice of words! she replyed with you are going to have sex when you are fully mature ( 18 in my books) she said 24! okay firstly my mum got married at 21 and 2ndly NO WAY! its my life!

He stayed with me a couple of weeks ago (different rooms) but i stayed in his room when she was out. Anyway it was the first time he had given oral to me and the first time for me. mum came home 5 mins after he had finishd and obviusly i had to scramble out of his room naked to the shower... i came out all flushed, her face was soo sad, it looked like she had just lost someone close to her. i felt so guilty.. Anyway she later asked me in privacy, if i had a shower with him, i clearly said no, even though i did far worse (well it was great) just to let her think i was still nnocent. i hate to lie to her but if she knew it would break her heart...

i really want to tell her that i have nearly had sex several time (sober i might add and good intentions) but stopped as i was to scared that my mum would kill me and that i feel that we are too young.

i am thinking of having sex in the near future but really dont want to hurt my mum.

i love her but i think she doesnt see that i am growing up...

How should i talk to her about it without a a glint of terror in my eye, she wont accept my answer at all...

[This message has been edited by shon (edited 09-10-2005).]

Posts: 49 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1386

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I think it's time for you and your mom to have a heart to heart talk in a non stressfull situation such as a restaurent or coffee shop. Your mom might surprise you. Remember, she is female and sexual (she had you, didn't she?). While I can't say for sure, the odds are that she also engaged in premartial sex. And she knew that someday, this would start happening to you. If you can deal openly with a woman who's been there, done that, and got the teeshirt you may forge a stonger bond with your mom.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25213

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Shon, Parents want us to be kids forever. Having sex is some thing every body is going to do in one point of there life. You need to find a good time and day to talk to you mom tell her that your growing up and have not had sex yet but if the day comes when one thing gose to another thing you want to be ready. She is just being a mother and she is worried about you and wants you to do the right thing. I think it is good you are trying to wait and are trying to use protection. But you can't always worry about making every body happy. do what feels right to you not your mom.

As you get older life gets harder

Posts: 22 | From: Somewhere in Tx | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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