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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sex sex sex.

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Author Topic: Sex sex sex.
babygirl88
Activist
Member # 9745

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So, sex always seemed like *the biggest deal* and I've always wanted to share it with someone special. I've been meaning to first have sex at a time when I feel right about it, and am in a relationship where there is mutual *~LOVE~*. As with many things, as I've gotten a little older the fantasy is wearing off because although it's realistic in the sense that it's possible, I'm curious! And I know a lot of people out there are having sex fairly casually.... With partners of all sorts, ones they don't intend to spend their lives or maybe even the next month with. And I now understand that some friends who want to maintain that status have sex, too. And I'm just wondering, is it okay to have sex for the first time with someone who you don't go out with, if they meet all your little personality "criteria" (For instance, for me I'd like to have sex with someone with whom I have a mutual comfort, trust and attraction)? I just met someone to whom this applies, and although we like each other I don't want to go out with him for a few reasons. Mainly, I honest to god have next to no time or energy for a relationship right now. Also, I don't want to be ina relationship right now. I'm just at such an awkward stage of my life-- I don't want to settle down becuase in a matter of months, I'm going to be taking off again. Besides, I ENJOY exploring and talking to strangers. I'm always meeting new people, being introduced to new possibilities, places, ways of life.... :-)

But, back to the sex thing. Is it seriously okay to have a person in your life who you enjoy spending time with, trust, etc. but basically fool around with? Do you think it's bad that I've held these ideals on waiting for a deep, committed, serious relationship in order to try sex, and now I'm thinking I just want to try it with a friend with benefits of sorts?

Hmm! Well thanks ahead of time to anyone who responds.


------------------
"It's something
unpredictable
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"


Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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As long as you and your partner have open lines of trust and communication, and you take necessary steps to prevent that which you don't want, there's no reason to wait for that long, deep, meaningful relationship if you don't want to. It's your body, and you get to make the choices.

In the mean time, I highly recommend that you check out some of our fabulous articles.

First Intercourse 101
Ready or Not? Safe , Sound....And Sexy


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babygirl88
Activist
Member # 9745

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I have read those wonderful articles to a tee. Ahh, please no pop quiz *hides* :-P


------------------
"It's something
unpredictable
but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"


Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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That's fantastic! No, there won't be a pop quiz.

What I'm seeing is that you need someone to give you permission to have this sort of relationship. Truly, the only people whose permission you really need is that of your partner and you. It's not bad that you've held on to an ideal. You, like many people, have simply grown and realized that perhaps you want something different. And that's okay.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BeAHippie
Neophyte
Member # 25287

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Alright, so I'm speaking from my point of view now...the first time I had sex it was with someone that I really cared about. Then we broke up and I was heart broken for years, and I started losing respect for myself. I starting having sex with many guys just because I wanted some and I wanted to know what other people were like in bed...until this past summer when I met the most amazing guy...it started out the same we didnt know eachother very well (we had met eachother years ago but never really became friends). I had some good conversations with him and then we went camping with a few friends and ended up having sex. It wasn't the best. Same old, just want to know how it would be, stuff. But we started hanging out together and, yeah we still had sex...well anyways my point is we fell in love and we are still, and I FEEL THAT SEX IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU LOVE THE PERSON AND EACH OF YOU CARE GREATLY ABOUT ONE ANOTHER!!! think about it!
Posts: 1 | From: Bridgewater, VA, USA | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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That's fantastic that it worked for you. Thanks for sharing your opinion.

Lot's of people have perfectly healthy, wonderful sexual relationships with others and do not have a deep relationship with that person. That's okay. It works for them.

(one thing--could you lay off the caps? It looks like you're shouting. Thanks!)


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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