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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Convincing my boyfriend to get tested.

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Author Topic: Convincing my boyfriend to get tested.
Member # 24658

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I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and sexually active for most of that time. I had a cervical cancer screening last year and got tested at the same time. Everything was all clear. I've been on at my boyfriend to get tested too, as its really something we should have done beforehand. However, he is refusing to, adament that if I'm clear, then he is. Although I see his point, I feel he should get tested anyway just in case, and why should it be my responsibility for our sexual health? I feel if I had to go through an exam, he should.
Anyway, my question is, even if I was clear, could he still have something and not passed it on? And exactly what is involved when a guy gets tested?

[This message has been edited by BritPixie (edited 08-02-2005).]

[This message has been edited by BritPixie (edited 08-02-2005).]

Posts: 9 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15249

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Kudos to you for acting responsibly! You should both get tested to make sure you're clean. Chances are he's clean if you've been having unprotected sex for a long time and you're clean but it's always better to be safe than sorry. Do not let him tell you that he does not want to be tested, hand him an ultimatum: he can get tested or you won't have sex. Safe sex or no sex.

Here's Scarleteen's article on STD testing:

Posts: 213 | From: Spain | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Why would he not WANT to?

Your responsibility to your sexual health and his doesn't negate or cover his to you and himself. Moreover, yes, it's possible that some STIs -- mostly something like HPV -- can be passed on and be asymptomatic and not show in tests.

In a word, your boyfriend is being a jerk, and I'm not sure why. Testing for you is actually more invasive than testing for him, and no matter your status or what you do, he too should be getting sexual health exams and screenings every year.

And he should WANT to out of care for you and himself. If he's not ready for that level of responsibility, then he's not truly ready for sexual partnership.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20990

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He might be nervous about going to / talking to the doctor, especially if he doesn't have a good relationship with his doctor.

It could help if you offered to go with him.

Posts: 37 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 785

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I don't want to jump to conclusions, but if he's so adamant about not getting tested, he might be hiding something from you. Even if you don't have an STD, he could. Having sex with someone with an STD doesn't necessarily guarantee you will get it also.
Posts: 304 | From: Pittsburgh PA | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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