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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » questions!

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Member # 24120

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Ok ... My boyfriend and I have been going out for a while. We have been messing around a little. We have never had sex but we have done things like he's fingered me and eaten me out and Ive given him a hand job and a blow job... and we have dry humped. The thing is certain things start to hurt a little. So once it starts hurting I tell my boyfriend that it does and he stops doing it as much. I am little scared though that through all of the fingering and dry humping my hymen may have broken. When you go to the Gyno can the tell how it was broken or if you are or are not a virgin by how things are done. Can you tell what a girl has done by tests at the Gyno?

Thanks to anyone who can help!

Posts: 65 | From: Edwardsville, IL, USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I don't know about tearing of your hymen, depending on how much activity is done there it may have irritated you. And depending on how well your boyfriend grooms himself his fingernails may have been long and scratched you.

And about the gyno, they don't test you for your boyfriend going down/fingering you. They can test for STI's and for abnormal cervical cells, but not what you've done. They only know what you've done if you tell them. You don't have to give specifics but you should let them know if your sexually active. By law they can't tell your parents (if that's an issue with you) unless you allow them to.

Also some women don't have hymens, and they can be torn by a different number of reasons. Tampons, sports, exercise, etc etc.

Posts: 38 | From: Albany, Ny | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Does it really matter? I mean there is really nothing special about your hymen besides that it hurts like hell when you break it, but you really don't need it so I wouldn't go to any extent to find out if I were you.


[This message has been edited by Gumdrop Girl (edited 06-25-2005).]

Posts: 5 | From: Skokie,IL, USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Actually, the hymen rarely "breaks." Rather, it generally wears away over time, though some activities can stretch it or cause small tears in a single event.

But it should NOT "hurt like hell." If it DOES eiter you're dealing with an imperforate or resilient hymen, which is an issue to see one's GYN about, rather than trying to hammer away at it, or, more commonly, are experiencing pain due to other things, like lack of arousal, lack of lubrication, nervousness or fear or a partner who is just being too rough.

Your GYN can certainly tell you if you have a partially intact hymen or not, but no OB/GYN who is being truthful and who has kept up with current reproductive anatomy information over the last thirty years is going to assume that is or isn't about sexual activity, because the hymen can wear away without any kind of partnered sex.

Heather Corinna
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Here is Scarleteen's article on a visit to the gynecologist and what to expect:

Your First Gynecologist Visit

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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While your gyno can't tell what you have or have not done sexually by the state of your hymen, it is extremely important to keep your gyno up-to-date on your sexual status. He or she gets paid to teach you about STI and pregnancy prevention.
Posts: 213 | From: Spain | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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